Gang Bang Queen - The Final Chapter

I'm almost embarrassed to admit that it took a couple of days to stop smarting over the recent GBQ encounter.  But I'd challenge anyone to not be shocked, taken back, etc. under the same circumstances.  The cherry on the top was, according to trick's review, she displayed more skill at certain things than she had with me.  Either that or he was inexperienced.  Or maybe she only brings her A game when she's getting paid.  I've finally been able to identify what bothered me the most / the actual emotional equivalence.  I think we all have former lovers / partners / etc. who I'll categorize as "not completely eliminated, just bad circumstances"; those who were the stars to realign, we'd entertain seeing again. They live in the back of our minds as potentially unfinished business.  However, there are rare completely disqualifying 'things', that can rip them right out of the category.  When that happens, it almost feels as though that person dies.  That's how it felt when GBQ informed me she was escorting again.  You don't recover from hooking, at least for me.  Regardless, the incident flared the fuck out of my intimacy issues.

For what it's worth, I don't think the move was to intentionally hurt me; more of a completely thoughtless way of saying "hey, look what I'm doing".  It almost felt as though she were proud of returning to sucking dick for a living, which is really quite fucked up.  For the record, I consider sex work to be actual work and I know there are those who enjoy it.  However, to leave a decent paying job to return to sex work is a different ballgame.

In reality, it felt as though she'd reached out because she lacked any real support structure in her life.  However, the more she said, the more it began to feel like a pity party.  She indicated she was done with actual relationships and made comments to the effect that she was where she belonged (I'm not sure if she meant Scotland or on her knees; maybe both.)  She didn't like the US, because of the gun violence and mass shootings.  Because her fiancé blew his brains out five years ago she continues to be triggered by anything gun related.  She said she was working to get past that, when we were dating, so it felt like she was just piling on the pity.  It would be cruel to take the position that she's not allowed to feel traumatized, but she didn't witness him do it and it's clear she's not sought any professional help to get past it.  

She was in full swing about how horrible her life was when I chimed in about her complete absence of  contrition for ghosting me, then a year later, hitting me in the face with her little hooker excursion.  As I previously mentioned, that's when she disengaged.  Fuck, she didn't so much as throw a bit of perfunctory sentiment of being sorry.  Definitely not a hooker with a heart of gold.  If I'm ever that self-absorbed, someone shoot me.

At the end, I just wanted to virtually grab her by the collar and give her the speech.  You're fifty one years old and left a decent paying job to be a fucking hooker.  Beyond sucking dick (which you didn't do that well), you have no transferrable skills that would allow you to stay in Europe and make a living.  It's time to grow the fuck up and face your challenges.  You can either seek help or be a sniveling little bitch, being triggered by everything.  And no, it's not easy being single at this stage in life; it can be traumatizing.  But how many decent men are going to want to be with a woman with a pattern of being a hooker when things get tough?  I sure as hell wouldn't date you again.  Pull your shit together and grow the fuck up.

As a final funny point (as in fucked up, not humorous), I found her online hooker ad, which lists all the services she offers and sure enough, she's available for gang bangs.  Here's the link, if you're so inclined.  (btw, she's about doubled in weight since I last saw her)

Gang Bang Queen for Hire

As of today, she only has one review and her calendar seems to be wide open.  Not much of a whore...

p.s. - I realize my tone is a bit cold on this entry, but I'm out of fucks to give for people who won't grow the fuck up.

A Gangbang Queen Update

In our last episode, I mentioned GBQ had spent time as an escort in Scotland.  She'd said she began out of desperation (she'd moved there for a man who wound up being a junkie and needed money), but also indicated she somewhat enjoyed it, because young men over there love American milfs.  She said she'd come to love the country and wanted to move back some day.

A year after I took my leave of the gangbang queen, I wound up doing the boomerang thing and we started dating again.  I'd successfully put her past in the past and she seemed like a genuinely decent person.  We went on three dates, none of which involved sex, for reasons that wouldn't be worth explaining.  Then, right before our fourth date, she ghosted me.  I'll admit to being hurt a little, because I did come to care about her if only a little.  This was almost a year ago to the day.  

You can imagine my surprise, when I woke up to find a text from her.  It was a hello from Scotland.  Being pissed that she reached out as though nothing had happened, I almost responded 'gee, are you hooking again?'  But I chose to not be hurtful.  Then, she sent me this!

Turns out she actually did return to Scotland to turn tricks; quit her job and everything!  As one might imagine, I experienced a veritable cornucopia of emotions, when I saw that screen cap.   I still haven't read it completely; after all, why would I want to read explicit details of what someone you cared about is doing with her tricks?  The bits that I did catch pissed me off because she's clearly more engaged in the bedroom for her tricks than she ever was with me.  Oh, I don't give a rat's ass if anyone has an issue of me posting it without obscuring details.  It's in the public domain and fuck it.

I called her out for ghosting me in the first place and that it hurt me, then did the same for sending me that screen cap.  Seriously, how insensitive does one have to be to pull that sort of shit?  She continued to blab about how she wanted to leave the US and how unhappy she was here.  Despite my mentioning how hurtful she was being, both then and now, not so much as a glint of contrition came my way.  I called her out on that as well, at which time she quit texting.  Not so much as an "Oh, sorry".  I've since blocked her, because I just don't need a white trash hooker in my life at the moment.

Unless You're The Gangbang Queen of...

With the recent posts having to do with followers and attention, I thought it might be a good time to revisit this one; didn't get ported over anyway.

We all have a past and if you've been single for any length of time, you've slept with multiple people by the time you've reached fifty.  When the topic of their sexual past comes up, some women I've dated have exhibited trepidation.  They're afraid of being seen as promiscuous or the word I hate, when used in the derogatory manner, a slut.  My response has almost universally been, "unless you're the gangbang queen of the (region we live in), I don't really care what or who you've done."  This statement has always been in jest, to lighten the mood, and no woman has ever admitted to participating in a single gangbang once, much less having been coronated for her dedication to the act.  Of course, you know just by my opening that recently changed.

We connected on AFF, actually, and like many other women, she felt comfortable sharing intimate details about her life with me.  I have zero idea why women feel that way; another topic for another time.   In any case, before we met in person, I knew that she was very sexually active.  For context, we were talking about us dating and being exclusive.  Her rather colorful past included being an escort in Scotland (long story), where she was apparently quite popular, because it seems young, Scottish men all wanted to have an American MILF.  Trust that no one was forcing her into the trade; she enjoyed it.  She informed me that even now, she has a bit of a fan club over there, who appreciate her alter ego.  She's also a local celebrity on AFF, and has recently become active again.  Anywho, she eventually came back to the US and for reasons unimportant to the story, she became a seeming celebrity at the KC swingers clubs.  At first, she conveyed it was from her working the door and engaging with everyone but it eventually came out that she was active in the clubs.   Very active.

I got past the hooker part, although I required a recent STD screen.  I also accepted that she'd been a swinger, because again, everyone has a past.  During the occasions we were together, more of that past came out.  One night, in passing, she made a comment to the effect of how you can only be gangbanged so often before it gets old.  Wait, what?   Yes, she'd gotten off on being passed around and used by as many men as possible (while curious, I didn't ask her largest crowd).  DP, airtight, the whole thing.

Being a gangbang queen or a call girl isn't inherently immoral; I would never claim otherwise.  Those who've read previous entries know I abhor slut shaming.  Again, I accepted her being an escort because of the circumstances at that time, but honestly, the whole gang bang queen thing was just a bridge too far for me.  It felt like any man we encountered locally had a one in four chance of having fucked my girlfriend at some point, multiple times and in various orifices.  One can be respectful of others' choices, but that doesn't mean they want that person as a partner.  

Admittedly, there were other factors that came into play.  One would think that being an escort and an E ticket ride at swingers clubs would have imbued her with amazing skill in the sack.  Therefore, I was looking forward to having my world rocked but instead, didn't feel so much as a nudge.  She turned out to not only be submissive, but passive.  Anyone who's read some of my previous entries knows my position on women who are passive in the sack.  No communication or being vocal; just blah.  And being completely blunt, her blowjob skills were C- at best.  What kind of hooker can't suck the cum out of a cock?  I admit I did experience something new with her, having never fisted a woman before.  Between he being a dud in the bedroom for me, but seemingly a tiger for the remainder of the KC Metro area, I had difficulty performing with her.  That's never happened to me before or since.  

The dud part was mostly due to the meds she was taking.  In my desperation, I almost suggested she stop taking them.   The meds also made her less than engaging outside the bedroom; again, just passive with not much to say.  And with that, I took my leave of the Gangbang Queen Of KC.

Twitter Fuck

 On today's edition of elders being challenged by software, we have Myrtle, an eighty three year old widow from Solon Heights, Ohio.  Myrtle is dismayed by the latest update from Twitter.  

She says, "My grandson set up Twitter for me on my tablet, so I could keep up with my favorite political figures.  That Lauren Boebert is so classy and contributes so much with her great ideas.  And that Madison Cawthorn is so smart and quite the hunk.  He's going places in politics.  Grrr."

But the latest update has Myrtle befuddled over how her feed has become so cluttered.  She goes on, "I like to see tweets as they happen and my grandson made sure that's how they displayed.  Such a good boy.  Did I mention my grandson's single and a great catch, girls?  Anyway, the most recent update is just confusing.  It's like my great granddaughter spewed her icky kaka on my screen.  Things will be peachy, then I'll see some random tweety from someone followed by someone I follow.  Well and truly, I don't want to see that Donald Jr. likes NAMBLA along with a two day old tweet from them."

When we followed up with Myrtle, to see if she'd been able to return her timeline to how it looked before, she told us, "Fuck no, these fuckers keep fucking with shit.  Cock sucking bastards claim they're enriching my experience.  What, by moving shit around so I can't find what I want, you fucking morons?  Enrich this, you mother fuckers.  I'm gonna fuck somebody up!"

Fare Thee Well, Trusty Desk Chair

 My current desk chair has become one of my true friends, there for me day and night, whether I'm working from my home office, which I've done for a total of about five years, searching for a job, writing a blog, or plotting .  I've spent a lot of time in that chair, which has been with me for seven years, and it had begun to show it.  Unfortunately, it passed into the great beyond, last night; it became an ex chair.  Trying to do three things at once, I wasn't paying attention and sat down on the very edge, causing the main support structure of the bench to disintegrate.  Like everything, this was plastic, and shit wears out.  

After perusing the various offerings, I chose a replacement and it's en route.  A dining room chair has been pressed into service in the interim, but there's a problem.  While I've configured my desk to temporarily work with the lower chair, I look like I should order from the kids menu on camera during my copious video interviews, which isn't acceptable.  To address this issue, I pulled out a booster cushion I'd bought to shoot off the insanely high bench rests at my rifle club's hundred yard range.  But this is a less than ideal solution, since the cushion is roughly twice the size of the bench on the dining room chair and the damn thing's quite unstable.  This requires me to remain completely still during my interviews, lest I move just a bit too far and push the cushion off the chair.  A bit difficult to appear relaxed when you're a few inches away from plummeting to the floor.  

Fortunately, my replacement desk chair is due to arrive tomorrow.  Some assembly required, of course.

Time to PUMP (part of) YOU UP!

 It is with shame that I admit to letting my body go to hell over the previous few months.  I got off my exercise schedule and honestly, just didn't give a shit about much of anything.  However, I recently rediscovered my motivation; a chubby dude with spindly arms isn't a good look.  Time to do something about that!  I'm still rebuilding my endurance, but have rediscovered my body's complete lack of harmony, when it comes to building muscle.  I'm blessed that seemingly one pushup will result in my shoulders gaining definition and bulk.  Where I'm not so blessed are my biceps.  If I built myself to the point I could curl a Buick, my biceps would still be "meh" and that, like oh so many things, pisses me off.  It's quite frustrating to repeatedly pick heavy shit up, then put it down, only to see negligible results.

At least Netflix has added a bunch of new content that will make me forget I'm on a treadmill.  As further confirmation I'm fucking old, I got super excited that 'In the Line of Fire' and 'Shooter' recently became available.  Yes, I've seen both of them a hundred times, but they still do the trick.  

What I find interesting is how my life experiences have provided additional 'little shit I notice' in each movie.  'Shooter' is about a sniper and I've learned a ton about long distance shooting since the last time I watched it.  And one of the first scenes of the Eastwood movie takes place at the Old Ebbitt Grill, which had become my favorite breakfast spot in DC.  They have a dish called Eggs Chesapeake that's the absolute bomb.  It's a riff on eggs benedict, but skips the Canadian bacon for an amazeballs crab cake and the Hollandaise is flavored with Old Bay.  I highly recommend stopping by, if you're in DC.  I know I won't be stopping by any fucking time soon.

Seems this entry followed my typical structure; begin with something I'm pissed about and finish with a dig on Kansas.  My work here is done. 

Marketing Excellence - Cam Girls

 Over the past few months, I've popped on and off one of the cam sites, for a bit of entertainment.  I'm rarely in a room for more than a minute, so it really is a short diversion.  Because I'm a freak, I like to find electrical outlets on the set of those girls who state their location to be the US, but have heavy Eastern European accents.  You can't fake infrastructure and if you were in NYC, you wouldn't have a round, three pronged plug.  I also note other trends I see, because that's what I do.  Yes, I'm really fucked up.

Anyway, back to the marketing excellence.  It's no surprise that a majority of the girls are from Eastern Europe as they have a whole industry around cam sites, with entire multi-suite studio facilities.  So, while many obfuscate their location with "Europe" or "around the corner", many do list their actual location.  There are typically several girls who list Russia as their location. That is until recently.  It hit me that if I were a cam girl and wanted to maximize my tips or at least not get hammered at the moment, I'd make damned sure my location wasn't Russia or even better, I'd list it as Ukraine.  "This poor girl is stuck in a war zone, I'll tip generously."  So, I went on a cam site today, searching for such trends (again, I'm a freak).  I tallied up the number of women from the first two pages (there were 59 pages total!!!) who had either Russia or Ukraine as their location.  Of 180 girls, 15 were now from Ukraine and only 1 from Russia.  I'd been subconsciously maintaining a view of who was from Ukraine, as tensions increased and while I don't have hard data, I know damned well there weren't a third that many before this week.  In fact, there's one who I've watched in the past, who I know damned well isn't from there.  On the flip side, there were significantly more from Russia a week ago, versus today.  

If that isn't excellence in marketing, I don't know what is!