A Trip To The DMV - Kansas Finds More Ways To Suck

The DMV is never fun, regardless of where you live.  However, this week, Kansas took the experience to a new and painful level for me.  In this state, you must traverse a multi-stage process for titling / registering your vehicles, when you move from another state.  First, you must present the vehicle and title to the Kansas Highway Patrol for them to validate the VIN's match, then do the DMV purgatory.  I took both of my cars for the VIN check, a few weeks ago; each requiring over an hour of waiting and messing about with apathetic civil servants.  I didn't find time to complete the process until this past week.

Wednesday morning, I set out for the drivers license facility (different than the DMV) and managed to knock that out in about an hour.  Not bad for the typical government parade of sloths.  What made me chuckle is the temporary DL I received, which looks like a bar receipt; on thermal paper and everything.  This thing has to last 30-45 days; imagine trying to keep a receipt from Target that long (in your wallet).  Both PA and VA (the two other states in which I've lived) had facilities in which you walked out with a real license. 

Bar receipt in hand, I trekked to the DMV to finish the process.  After waiting the proper 25 minutes, I was called to window 12, where I presented my completed paperwork.  The drone behind the counter told me I must have handed her the wrong title, because the inspection sheet noted a KTM motorcycle.  I don't own a motorcycle which meant the damned inspection station screwed up.  Back in the car, I trudged to the KHP facility, where I was told to sign in and take a seat.   I responded 'I don't plan on being here long enough to need a seat.  You need to remedy this mixup and have me on my way.'  The woman manning the counter looked at me and, I swear on my grandmother's grave, said 'remedy?'  I stared at her and said 'fix'.  'Oh, okay; wait a minute.'  A few minutes later, I made the return trip back to the DMV.  I approached another counter, this time, and presented my now correct paperwork. 

'Do you have your VA registration?'
'Uh, no...it wasn't on the list of documents I was to provide, based upon your website.'
'Well, I need it to determine timing for your taxes.' 
It's obvious I had the registration for the vehicle I was driving, but the reg for my other car was, shocker, in my other car.

Thus, I found myself making another trek, still nowhere near completing my task.  After grabbing some lunch, kicking a few kittens, and otherwise releasing my frustrations, I returned to the DMV.  This time, I had everything I needed and was able to complete the full transaction.  Although, the final act was to pay KS property tax on my cars, which was 20% higher than what I paid in VA.  I pretty much said to the drone behind the counter 'you've got to be kidding! You charge more than a real state and still have shit roads and services.  How the hell do you charge this much?'  Not surprising I received no response on that one. 

In any case, I'm now legal in the state of...I can't even say it. 

How was your week?

Quarterly Dating Profile of the Week

Typically, I post profiles I can make fun of, but that's not the case here.  I read this opening recently and it just struck me as funny.  Usually, we reach out to those with whom we share common interests / experiences.  That's not likely here.  'You too???'

My self-summary
I spent most of my 20s traveling to Antarctica researching polar plankton. Now, I enjoy documentaries (the more depressing the better!),...

Religion and Dating in Kansas

Having been here for seven months (holy fucking shit, that realization just made me a bit nauseous!), I should have already encountered someone I wanted to date more than a few times, or at least developed one or two 'special friends', with whom I could spend quality time.  However, I've only gone on multiple dates with one person.  It goes without saying that dating sucks, but seriously, this has been an incredible dry spell.  This lack of companionship can essentially be attributed to one factor, religion.

I've already shared my views on religion and faith here.  With the exception I noted in that entry, I'd previously not encountered much friction on the topic of religion in the context of dating.  That is until I moved here...to the Bible Belt.  You see, the majority of people I've come across here are practicing Christians and most women want the same quality in their partner.  Beyond it narrowing the dating pool quite a bit, no foul, right?  Wrong.

You see, many of these so called devout Christians take quite a bit of license with the 'no sex before marriage' rule.  That's the one good thing about OKCupid; it's easy to see by how a woman answers the sex questions what's important to her.  It's fairly common to find a woman who responds she'll sleep with a guy on their first date, but God is very important to her.

My position is if you're going to be a Christian, be a Christian.  If you consider the Bible to be the word of God, follow it.  You're either in or you're out.  'I like these rules, but not those, so I'll ignore them' serves only to highlight your hypocrisy.   His word is either sacrosanct or it's not, and if it's not, then stop calling yourself a person of faith.

To those I've questioned on the topic, the typical response has been 'I have a special relationship with God'.  So, you and your sky daddy sat down and he said 'fuck all the guys you want, I got your back'?  You'll forgive me if I'm a bit skeptical about that one.

It all boils down to this:  This is your god, the one you worship, and profess to follow.  If you can't be faithful to Him, then how can I expect you will be to some schmuck you're dating?

The cherry on the top is these women (and I'm sure men, but I don't date them), will be the first to judge you for not being a Christian.  They look down their noses at you as though you're some sort of ignorant, evil creature.  Hypocrisy elevated to a very high standard.

And this has nothing to do with slut shaming.  Those who read my blog know I wholeheartedly celebrate sluts.  A woman can fuck her way through the NFC east, for all I care, and I'd have not one unkind word to say about her.  However, if she's espousing to worship her sky daddy while doing it, she's a waste of oxygen.

For example, the girl who owned nothing would scream with delight as I pounded her ass, and called her a whore, but still gave me shit for not believing in God.

In another case, I'd been chatting with a woman (here in the Flat Lands) who seemed to be a good fit; smart, funny, cute, blah, blah.  We'd discussed sex and she became rather excited about becoming my dirty girl, even being owned by me.  We planned to meet for dinner, then she would come to my house, the next night, to get laid, no pretense of anything else.  Fast forward to dinner and the food arrives.  Before she tears into her steak, she bows her head.  Holy shit, this chick is saying grace!  The chick I had just met, who wanted me to fuck her like a slut the following night, was saying grace!

My rant toward these people:  You fuckers are the worst kind of hypocrites and numb skulls.  You make the rest of us suffer through you wearing your supposed faith on your sleeve, looking down your nose at those who don't share your beliefs, yet you don't live it yourself.  Exactly what do you plan to say to St. Peter at the pearly gates, when he points out more men had gone down on you than on the Titanic?

No one should be shocked that I absolutely won't date a Christian.  If she truly believes, I'm not waiting until marriage or a 'serious' relationship before we get naughty (and potentially discover she's horrible in the sack).  If she does fuck, she's a hypocrite.

And that's life in Kansas...how's your love life?

Dating In Kansas

In a word, it sucks.  But don't just take my word for it.  Empirical data exists!

I rest my case...

What Have I Become???

Recently, I haven't been feeling myself and I'm not sure what's happening.  Putting it into words has been a challenge, so I'll share two events that illustrate why I'm so out of sorts.

First, I was in Richmond last week, to deal with a few things and one of those found me in circuit court.  It was not a criminal matter and I wasn't the defendant.  Since there are apparently not many civil cases at any one time, mine got lumped in with what I discovered was drug court.  I'd briefly researched the judge I'd be in front of and discovered he ran his own program for substance abusers.  My case was placed behind the various drug cases, which afforded me the opportunity to observe this judge and his interaction with those in front of him.  

To say I was astonished by his behavior would be an understatement.  He treated each defendant with kindness and respect.  It was clear he had read every bit of the case files in front of him.  When rendering his decision, this man showed more concern for a positive outcome for these people than he did about 'carrying out justice'.  When considering those who've broken the law, my position has always been 'try 'em and fry 'em' but something about the humanity I saw demonstrated in that courtroom struck home with me.  I walked out of that courthouse thinking the world needs more of what I'd just witnessed.

The second event occurred just yesterday, when a colleague and I were discussing an execution gone wrong in I think Arkansas, not that it matters.  Again, my position has always been to take the bastards out and shoot 'em.  But yesterday's conversation made me think about the topic in a different way.  Rather than focus on the condemned, what about those who physically carry out the sentence?  The guy who administers the lethal injection, or pulls the switch on 'Old Sparky'?  What a terrible burden to carry around; I just took the life of another human.  With the exception of sociopaths, no one escapes the trauma associated with such an act.  In the past, PA used firing squads to execute prisoners.  In order to prevent the guilt associated with taking a life, all but one of the guards had blanks loaded in his gun, and the weapons weren't handed out until right before the event.  Let me tell you, when you're firing blanks, it's a completely different feeling than when discharging live ammo, so there's no way the man who fired the rounds that killed the prisoner didn't know he was that guy.  Studies have shown the death penalty isn't a deterrent in the least.  

At the end of the brief conversation, I'd reached the conclusion that the death penalty should be removed as punishment.  Not because some nasty scumbags don't deserve a slow, painful death, but to preserve the humanity of those tasked with carrying out the order.  

So, what's happening to me?  Has my brain been scrambled somehow?  Oh shit!  

I'm becoming a LIBERAL!!!

2018 So Far

We're a little over a month into 2018 and not much has changed here in Flat City.

I remain single and am not engaging with anyone, much less meeting; I'm just not interested.  Beyond the way too typical problem of meeting my criteria, having something to say, etc. incompatibility when it comes to faith continues to rear its ugly head, here in the Bible belt.  Regular readers know of my issue with someone claiming to be a devout Christian, but openly wanting to fuck, and soon.  Flat out hypocrisy.  Anyway, Kansas is thick with women who fall into this category.

This is a temporary situation and the most I want, while I'm here, is a superficial dalliance.

To that end, a few weeks ago, I decided to put my religious hypocrisy issues aside and meet a woman who was both active in her church and thought she may have wanted some first date sex.  Yes, I was in need of some (naked) human touch.  Unfortunately, she had already proven to be quite the bumpkin, having moved from middle of nowhere Nebraska (I know, redundant description) to the big city (hah!) of KC, and hadn't been much of anywhere else.  She was intelligent, for sure, but worldly, she was not.  When we met, I just wasn't feeling it, nor was I feeling well, because of the flu someone gave me on a plane somewhere.  I somewhat blew my chances for a quick fuck when I responded to her question of 'So, how do you like it here, so far?' with 'I fucking hate the Midwest'.  Did I mention I sort of lose the ability to simulate charming, when I'm sick?  And I'm still wondering why she didn't want to go home with me...

On a similar note to the above (the middle of nowhere portion), I was chatting with a guy on a flight 'home' the week before last.  I mentioned just moving here and he responded that he and his wife had never been happier about relocating to KC.  I asked where he had moved from to which he noted a small town in Iowa.  It literally took all of my restraint to not blurt out 'no shit KC's better if you've been living in fucking nowhere all your life!'  But I didn't.

The other major contributing factor to my not wanting to date right now has to do with Kansas itself.  I've already documented all the ways in which this state sucks humongous hirsute equus asinus genitals and it's truly sunken in that coming here was a mistake.  Yes, I enjoy my job; I've gotten to meet real rocket scientists at NASA and a big chunk of my product guarantees every SpaceX rocket functions.  But work's only 10 hours a day and leaves a lot of free time to fill.  Ultimately, I think I'm avoiding emotional involvement in order to prevent putting down roots here.  The same goes for exploring the city; why bother learning about a shitty town when you plan on getting the hell out in the next few years?

While my employment contract has a small escape clause, 'because Kansas sucks' isn't in there; I checked.

As I sit in a place that will struggle to reach freezing today, while Richmond might hit 70 degrees, I ponder another topic that makes me less than jovial.  My Porsche is finally in transit from Richmond to here.  Ordinarily, being reunited with it after 6 months would excite me, but the roads here, even if they weren't covered in salt, are flat, straight, boring, and in shit condition.  The car may very well be sold, since it likely won't exit my garage more than three or four times per year.

I promise to put more effort into refraining from the 'woe is me; Kansas sucks' entries, unless I discover a new way it does so. 

Now, get off my flat lawn...

They Lie About Meat Here!

As regular readers already know, one of the pleasures I cherish most in life is dry aged, prime beef.  Back in Richmond, I had a butcher who regularly carried such a delicacy, in addition to pasture raised, and Midwest grain fed beef.  They knew me by name, so I may have spent a little time there.  Back to KC, I've already documented my first carnivorous outing as a complete disaster, but I still had a few spots to check.  One is only about ten minutes from my office, so I popped by on Friday, after work.  As I traversed the constantly worsening neighborhoods, not finding prime beef became a secondary concern, behind just getting out alive.

I arrived safely, but quickly became discouraged once I walked through the front door.  The cases were filled with a lot of not so awe inspiring meat.  Oh well, I'll just get a few things, since I'm here.  Once I'd made my choices, the guy who waited on me led me to the register, where another older gentleman was running the machine.  Although I surely knew the answer, I still posed the question 'do you ever get prime beef here?'  The older gentleman cast a look to the younger guy and said 'show him'.

Long story short, I was taken to a huge walk in cooler, with dozens of sides of beef hanging in it, and told most of that was prime.  And the angels sang.  They didn't keep it in the front case, because that was the high volume operation.  Next time, I should call ahead and they'd cut anything I wanted.

So, this past weekend, I did just that.  I'll skip to the part that matters, which is what the butcher told me -  'uh yeah, we don't have USDA graders, so it's technically not prime.  If we paid to have graders, our best meat would be prime, though.'    Wait, last time I was there, I was shown all this meat that was supposed to be prime.  Eh, fuck it; just give me a super thick ribeye with a ton of cap.  When I picked my meat up, my fears were justified.  What they sold me would have never passed for prime in the first place.

For those who've never experienced prime beef, perhaps a visual comparison would help.  The top photo shows genuine USDA prime beef, that's been dry aged 30 plus days.  Note the copious amounts of intramuscular fat (aka marbling) and that the steaks look dense and big for what they are.  The almost dry look of these steaks are evidence they've been dry aged.  These steaks were the best I've ever had (which I'd say about every prime steak I purchased from my butcher in Richmond).

If we compare with the meat in the photo below, which is what I purchased this weekend, you'll see none of those attributes are apparent.  It's not that this steak was bad; it was fairly good.  But it sure as fuck wasn't prime or anything close to it.  Hell, I've had choice grade beef that was closer to prime than this.

To summarize, even the damned Bible Belt dwellers lie like rugs.  Oh, and the wind hasn't stopped blowing since I arrived in September.  Someone get me out of here!

For those interested in more detail about how beef is graded, take a look at this: