Recently, I engaged in an activity that, until recently, would have discounted as a non-starter. I'm speaking of cosmetic surgery. Surely, that sort of thing was the domain only of the vain or insecure. Certainly nothing someone like I would engage in. My 'brand', my value proposition as a person is built on intellect, humor, philanthropy, and being inquisitive about the world around me. I have no need for such superficial nonsense. Obviously, something changed my mind.
While the rest of my body remains in line with the number of years on it, less actually, my face hasn't. Stress, genetics, who knows, but I feel as though I've aged ten years in the past three, and certainly look older than I should. One of those reasons is that I was born with hooded eyelids. I've always noticed them, but in the past five years, they seem to have begun a mad dash downward. They finally reached the point where they impacted my vision and frankly, my confidence. So I scheduled an appointment with a surgeon. I knew having them addressed would make me look a bit younger, plus the procedure is covered by insurance. That's a win win in my book. Then, the surgeon explained he could do the lower lids at the same time, for less than if I were to have them done separately. Basically, another $4k to have the bags under my eyes, which had also begun to bother me, disappear. He also noted your brows tend to move downward, as you age. He said it was an extra five minutes per side for him to make an incision and put in a stitch to raise them, so he'd throw that in for free. It was a surprisingly easy decision to make. Look noticeably younger for only $4k? Absolutely.
Had all of this activity been out of pocket, I doubt I'd have ever considered having either of the procedures done. But there it was, all laid out and oh, so easy.
And so, eight days ago, I found myself on an operating table, with a surgeon slicing, dicing, burning, and throwing chemicals on the area around my eyes. Initially, I was a bit freaked out over being conscious during the procedure (I'm quite touchy about my vision), but whatever drug cocktail they pumped into my arm was properly calming. Still, I was completely awake. I recall joking around with the surgeon and Larry, the anesthesia guy. At one point, I inquired whether they'd brought in the machine that goes ping. (Monty Python...Google it)
As one can imagine, I've been less than the ultimate example of pulchritude, post operation. The swelling and bruising have only begun to subside in earnest over the past 36 hours or so and I feel comfortable that my appearance will no longer traumatize small children (any more than usual). However, the results are undeniable. While I despise selfies, I've taken a series of them to chronicle my recovery. When I compare recent pictures to the one I took immediately prior to surgery, even with the swelling that will continue to subside, my eyebrows are lifted and the bags under my eyes are mostly gone. Most incredibly of all my eyelids no longer hang over my eyes. That's incredible because I still have a ton of swelling in that area; things will continue to improve!
Putting aside the vanity aspect of the procedures, did they improve my life at all? The answer to that is a resounding 'Hell, yeah!'. Today was the first time I left the house, during the day, where my eyes were perfectly clear and not hazed by ointments. I took a moment, while stopped at a light, to perform a quick assessment of my vision. Holy shit, I can see so much more! I'd reached the point where I felt as though I perpetually had a sun visor on, limiting my vertical field of view, and that visor had disappeared. Prior to the surgery, looking above the horizon required rotating my head, whereas now, I need only to look with my eyes. It truly is an amazing improvement.
So, here I am on the rare occasion where my position on a subject has been significantly altered, although I still consider those who have elective cosmetic surgery to be vain. So despite what I've always told myself, it seems I am not without some vanity of my own. And I'm okay with that.
