Epstein and Justice For Dummies

Whenever the GQP is on the back foot over allegations of wrongdoing, there seems to be a renewed interest in the Epstein case by the right wing looneys.  The motivation is obvious, because the alleged list includes many influential democrats.  The looneys scream for justice because no one's been arrested except for Jeff and Ghislaine.  More accurately, they get themselves all lathered up over putting some democrats in jail.  I've decided to explain the reality of the situation, best I can, once and for all.

First, the list is bullshit.  You can tell this by how it grows each time it reappears; hell, I think the latest one has Franklin Roosevelt on it.  Also, there's literally no base evidence from which to compile it; it lacks any sort of provenance.  Again, bullshit.  

Second, even if we enter the right wing looney fantasy world and consider the list real, it literally proves nothing beyond these people visited the island.  

It would require one to be a complete fucking moron to think charges would be filed, much less a court convicting someone based on their name appearing on a fucking list of visitors.

What would be required is actual evidence of wrongdoing.  This means eyewitness accounts, victim testimony, video evidence, etc.  Even better to have testimony from the victims themselves, that the defendant hurt them while they were underage.  But this apparently doesn't exist.  Beyond the pedo pair, only perp I'm aware of the victim testifying against them is Prince Andrew.  Again, NO FUCKING EVIDENCE of a crime occurring.  Perhaps some exists, but it hasn't been revealed and I refuse to speculate.  

The best part about the right wing looney fantasy is they're all for punishing the shit out of someone whose name is on a list, but vehemently deny their Cheeto Face Idol was involved, despite the numerous photos of him with Epstein.  If there was a person who'd want to visit the island, it's Trump. Considering his obsession with his daughter, it wouldn't surprise me if Epstein had an Ivanka lookalike just for the bastard.  If the list represents flight manifests, Trump wouldn't show up, because he'd insist on flying his jet powered whore house.  

Others who'd fly their private jets would be Bill Gates and Oprah; they're much nicer than Epstein's.  I'm sure there are others on the list who own jets as well, but I'm not inclined to go through it again.  None of these would appear on the bullshit manifest list, either.   

In summary, those who think the list they've seen is real are gullible fucking morons.  Likewise, those angry no charges have been filed are again, total fucking morons.  Use your brains, idiots.  

Thanks for reading!

It's The Guns - Revisited

 Despite my best, good faith efforts to illustrate the relationship (or lack thereof) between gun violence and gun ownership, there are those who remain unconvinced, some of whom have been nasty, insulting, little pansies about it.  They continue to cry "it's the guns" that are causing the epidemic of firearm related homicides.  Obviously, you can't have firearm related homicides without firearms, but that's where the correlation ends.  

Consider a basic equation: 

GO+X*XX=GH

GO represents the percentage of households that own guns and has been declining steadily since the 70's.  It's probably increased slightly since the pandemic, based on how many new buyers have been purchasing guns.  For the purpose of this exercise, we'll peg it at 35%

GH is the number of gun related homicides

It's simple math that if GO remains constant (or within a margin of error), and GH changes dramatically, there must be a factor that impacts the outcome of the calculation.  

Some visuals may be helpful.  

This chart represents the total number of homicides by year, from 1985 through 2021.*

Things to note:

Upward trend, beginning in 2013, totals in line with early 2000's

Massive decrease over the course of the 1990's

These are raw numbers, not per capita.

The red line illustrates the downward trend in firearm ownership, per household.

Takeaway:  Our murder rate has definitely increased since 2014, but remains nowhere near what it was a few decades ago.  

This next chart illustrates number of firearm related deaths resulting from mass shootings.**  

This chart shows a clear upward trend on deaths from mass shootings, particularly in the past three years.  Of note is how the total remains less than 10% of all firearm related homicides.  

Finally, because everyone loves charts, this one illustrates number of mass homicide fatalities by year.***  One could argue the average is trending downward.    

In summary, any rational, intelligent individual would conclude guns are not to blame for the increase in firearm homicides.  Looking at the data, one could argue there really isn't an epidemic.  Gun violence is absolutely something we need to address as a society, but we won't make any progress while simpletons blame everything on one factor.  You're not helping!

*Source - FBI CDE Expanded Data, includes all homicides, not just firearm related.  However the vast majority are.  FBI changed their data availability last year to where you're no longer able to download large chunks of data, instead being forced to use their explorer, which offers zero granularity.  

** Source - Gun Violence Archive

***Source - Mother Jones Mass Homicide Database (their name is mass shooting database, but it isn't)

This entry is part of my "Gun Series" that focuses on providing insight into the gun debate and gun violence.  You can find the other entries in the series HERE. 

 

About the author: Sean R is a recovering conservative who owns a consulting firm specializing in strategic marketing.  He's been a competitive shooter since the early 90's and holds a High Master classification in PPC and a Master classification in USPSA.  Additionally, he's served as an instructor for gun safety and competition courses.  He lives in Raleigh, North Carolina with his overly vocal white dog, Sadie..

Who's The Danger To Society?

 Because I'm a left leaning conservative gun owner, I frequently encounter those who are, shall we say, misinformed on the subject of firearms.  This will be a quick one.

First, understand those of us who identify as shooting enthusiasts aren't the dangerous ones.  The data that I've digested suggests that those most likely to commit crimes are younger, haven't owned their guns long (or legally), and typically only own one or two.  

It would follow that those gun owners who are least likely to commit crimes with them have owned their guns longer term, have multiples, and are over 30.  We understand the consequences of pulling the trigger; the finality.  That makes us more placid and will cause us to walk away from an encounter, rather than escalate it.  We also recognize that pulling the trigger will cost us $100k in attorney's fees because we will be charged with 2nd degree murder, even if it's ultimately dropped.  If a situation is obvious (i.e. you've got 5 dead ninjas laying by you, all swords drawn), a charge might be avoided, but we'll still have to pay an attorney until the DA declines to prosecute.  

Besides, do you think the ones who openly admit to owning guns are the ones committing crimes?

So, if we gun owners get a bit snippy on social media, it's because we're sick and tired of having fingers pointed at us, when we're not the ones pulling triggers on innocents.  

Concealed Carry

First, I recognize the likelihood of having to use my gun for personal defense or in defense of others is slim to infinitesimal, but it's not zero.  So, just like I keep a spare tire and flashlight in my car, I carry a gun, pretty much everywhere I go.  It's a tool, that may be required under a very specific set of circumstances.  It remains properly concealed at all times.  Honestly, carrying a gun is a nonevent for most of us.  

Despite my gun always remaining concealed, wearing one makes me feel good, in the same way women feel when they wear nice lingerie.  Hear me out...  Most of my carry guns are custom built to my specifications, as are my leather holsters.  They're works of art.  So, even though no one will see how nice my equipment is, I feel a sense of pride carrying custom guns.   

I will admit that more than a few law abiding gun owners are a bit overzealous, LARP training and thinking they need a conceal carry gun with a light, red dot, and 29 round capacity.  In my opinion, they're harmless, even if they're training for a fantasy.  

Most gun enthusiasts, including myself, consider open carry to be just dumb.  First, it makes you a target for the real criminals, who simply have to wait for your attention to be focused elsewhere to swipe it out of your holster, and maybe use it on you.  I've seen multiple videos of just this happening.  Second, open carry freaks people out, including some of us gun owners.  So, if you think open carry is objectionable, know that true shooters look down on the practice too.  The only time the practice is acceptable is when you're in the wilderness and may encounter bears that view you as a snack.

The Time I Pulled My Gun

Sometimes, the act of pulling your gun can diffuse a situation and take the menace out of someone who would do you harm, were you unarmed.  Because these events are rarely reported, solid data doesn't exist on frequency.  I've heard anywhere from 5k-500k times each year.  Here's my story.  

My (now ex) wife's ex husband was a truly evil individual, who caused not just stress in our household, but outright fear.  He did time for armed robbery, had been a junky, and allegedly killed two people; he was a sociopath of the highest order.  He always wanted more time with his son, but always spent it doing nothing with him, preventing the boy from spending time with friends or participating in anything, really.  He would harass my wife any way he could think of, such as the time he smashed in our bedroom window, while I was traveling.  He knew I was a competitive shooter, so he'd harass me from afar, like the one night he was so militant about it that he was ultimately convicted for harassment.  But he was super savvy in working the system, so he'd get away with most of his shitty behavior.  Finally, he'd done something really bad that I won't get into, but he was convicted of child endangerment and was subject to a PFA; no closer than 500 yards for any and all of my family.  This was in effect when my stepdaughter came running back to the house one morning, in tears because asshat was stalking her to her bus stop.  He clearly didn't realize I was still home.  After him repeatedly evading punishment, I'd had enough.  I jumped in the car, backed it out of the garage, and discovered he was literally right across the street.  I pulled my car level with his and pointed my gun at him.  After likely soiling himself (his face was a combination of surprise and pure terror), he hauled ass out of there and never bothered us again.  If he reported me, he'd also be admitting to violating the PFA (a felony) and driving on a suspended license, so I knew I was in the clear.  The cops and DA hated him so badly that I wouldn't have been charged anyway.  You can argue what I did wasn't the right thing, but you'd be wrong.  

And finally...

Why Do You Need to Carry a Gun?

Those who make this challenge to you will invariably find your reasons to be insufficient for them and are universally anti-gun.  I'm confident I speak for most shooters when I say I refuse to subject myself to judgment from someone with an agenda, yet has never actually shot a gun.  Their opinion of me is inconsequential.  Furthermore, it's ludicrous to challenge someone as to why they engage in a behavior that's legal for them to do so.  Therefore, I will never respond to this question.  If pushed, my answer will be "fuck you".  

This entry is part of my "Gun Series" that focuses on providing insight into the gun debate and gun violence.  You can find the other entries in the series HERE.  

About the author: Sean R is a recovering conservative who owns a consulting firm specializing in strategic marketing.  He's been a competitive shooter since the early 90's and holds a High Master classification in PPC and a Master classification in USPSA.  Additionally, he's served as an instructor for gun safety and competition courses.  He lives in Raleigh, North Carolina with his overly vocal white dog, Sadie.

The 2nd Amendment

 Regular readers know of my interest in shooting pistols and rifles.  I enjoy preparing for and shooting matches, as well as going to the range to decompress at the end of a tough day.  I've written several entries concerning gun violence and the AR-15, but what I've not done until now was comment on the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution.  As usual, buckle up, because I ain't gonna say what you think I am.

The 2nd Amendment is fairly brief and worded in an odd manner, with a comma in a really dumb place.  

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

But what the hell does that mean?  To reach that understanding requires a (hopefully) short history lesson.

First, during that period of time, it was common practice to keep a firearm for personal defense.  In fact, English law specifically allowed white protestant men to do so.  So, it was considered a given, with respect to being a personal freedom.  Also, Madison, Jefferson, and others endorsed retaining this freedom in correspondence amongst themselves.  

Militias

When the US won independence, our main fighting force consisted of militias from the colonies, each under command of a duly elected state leader.  These militias predated the Revolution and every fighting age man was required to serve, which meant drilling once or twice per month to ensure readiness.  The men were also obligated to own military grade muskets and appropriate uniforms.  Because these militias were wildly inconsistent in their capabilities, during the war, they were ultimately rolled under the command of George Washington, who built them into the cohesive force that defeated the British.  After the war, the various militias went home.

The Constitution and Bill of Rights

In 1787, our newborn country was attempting to get itself organized.  A bunch of smart guys spent a long summer sweating their asses off in Philadelphia hashing out what would become the Constitution.  The reason they were sweating was because it was summer and they kept the windows closed to prevent eavesdropping before the document was ready.  It might surprise you to learn the Constitution's ratification wasn't a slam dunk.  There were still those who wanted to remain a loose confederation of independent states, being justifiably afraid of a government that could do as it pleased.  But it did get ratified and life was good, right up to the point where the TJ, Jamie Mads, and the boys realized they'd screwed up by not including specific rights of the citizens.  Creating and ratifying the Bill of Rights wasn't a cake walk.  Those who took part in drafting the Constitution weren't in the mood to spend another summer in Philadelphia, sweating their asses off with the windows closed.  However, after much campaigning by James Madison, another meeting was convened.  

Many hours were spent narrowing down the various amendments to the ten that ultimately made up the Bill of Rights.  Some were written from a blank sheet of paper, whereas others were adapted from the various states' constitutions.  The Second Amendment falls into the latter category, having been mostly copy pasted from the Massachusetts constitution.  The adaptation and word jockeying is why it's so poorly written.  

A Standing Army

Because of how challenging it was to deal with separate militias, in the face of a large enemy, the Founding Fathers decided the best course was to establish a standing army, and included such provisions in the Bill of Rights.  This scared the hell out of many, because a centrally commanded army could easily be the enforcers of tyrannical central government like the one they'd just defeated.  Therefore, there were many influential men who wanted to preserve the states' rights to maintain their own militias as a check against this.  The Second Amendment did just that.

Second Amendment Meaning

Again, the Second Amendment was written solely to preserve the rights of the states to maintain militias, conferring no rights to individuals, except in the context of those serving their state militias.  Further evidence of this can be found in The Federalist Papers.  These were a series of eighty five anonymous "letters to the editor" written by Alexander Hamilton and James Madison and published in numerous newspapers, mostly in New York.  Their purpose was to expound on the reasons ratifying the Bill of Rights was so crucial as well as to allele the fears of the citizenry.  Again, the idea of a central government remained a scary thing to many in 1789.  The Second Amendment were only mentioned in articles 29 and 46, both of which referenced militias, omitting any allusion to a personal right to keep firearms.  Yes, I've read a lot of stuff on the subject!

In conclusion, based upon what I've read in various source material, I'm convinced the Founding Fathers considered personal ownership of arms for protection to be an uncontested norm of society.  Therefore, they didn't feel it needed to be enshrined in the Constitution.  However, the Second Amendment does not confer that right, which was confirmed no less than three times by the Supreme Court.  

As a footnote, that changed in 2008, with the Heller decision.  I've read the majority opinion, written by Justice Scalia and it's a hack job.  The supposed originalist went off the reservation with more recent material that he misinterpreted.  But, it's the law of the land now, regardless of the Founding Fathers' intent.  And yes, I'm keeping my guns.

Record Profits By Evil Companies!!!

 Gotta get something off my chest about a type of news story that jacks my nads, the RECORD PROFITS proclamation.  This is usually tied to an industry that the news outlet wishes to vilify, either subtly or more overtly. Big oil is a typical target, and they've been attacked recently.  But a recent news story made a massive deal about how gun manufacturers have enjoyed record profits, while children were being slaughtered in schools.  How evil of them for getting fat off their products killing kids.  Before I go any further, it might be helpful to understand earnings and profits.  

Here's a simplified example:

If I sell something for $100 and make 40% gross margin on it, my profits / earnings are $40.

If customers buy 10,000 of this item, I make $400,000 profit (earnings) with $1million in revenue.

However, if my demand dramatically increases, and I sell 75,000 units, my revenue is $7.5million and I earn $3million.  In reality, my earnings would be greater, because I'm buying raw materials at better rates, due to the higher volume and more fully utilizing my factory, but let's not worry about that.

In case you missed it, Covid, civil unrest, and a Democrat being elected President drove gun sales through the roof last year.  Guns sold as quickly as they hit the shelves.  So, it should be of no surprise that Smith and Wesson shipped roughly 70% more firearms in 2021 than they did in 2020 with resulting revenue going from $530million to $1.1billion.  It doubled in one year!!!  So, of course their profits hit record highs because of math.  But not not one of these stories mention revenue increasing.  

So, the next time you hear a story about how some industry, who the outlet wants you to find nasty, has made record profits (with no mention of sales or revenue), you'll know it's likely a hit piece.  Not as though demand for petroleum has gone sky high with the pandemic over and costs have remained low...

Gang Bang Queen - The Final Chapter

I'm almost embarrassed to admit that it took a couple of days to stop smarting over the recent GBQ encounter.  But I'd challenge anyone to not be shocked, taken back, etc. under the same circumstances.  The cherry on the top was, according to trick's review, she displayed more skill at certain things than she had with me.  Either that or he was inexperienced.  Or maybe she only brings her A game when she's getting paid.  I've finally been able to identify what bothered me the most / the actual emotional equivalence.  I think we all have former lovers / partners / etc. who I'll categorize as "not completely eliminated, just bad circumstances"; those who were the stars to realign, we'd entertain seeing again. They live in the back of our minds as potentially unfinished business.  However, there are rare completely disqualifying 'things', that can rip them right out of the category.  When that happens, it almost feels as though that person dies.  That's how it felt when GBQ informed me she was escorting again.  You don't recover from hooking, at least for me.  Regardless, the incident flared the fuck out of my intimacy issues.

For what it's worth, I don't think the move was to intentionally hurt me; more of a completely thoughtless way of saying "hey, look what I'm doing".  It almost felt as though she were proud of returning to sucking dick for a living, which is really quite fucked up.  For the record, I consider sex work to be actual work and I know there are those who enjoy it.  However, to leave a decent paying job to return to sex work is a different ballgame.

In reality, it felt as though she'd reached out because she lacked any real support structure in her life.  However, the more she said, the more it began to feel like a pity party.  She indicated she was done with actual relationships and made comments to the effect that she was where she belonged (I'm not sure if she meant Scotland or on her knees; maybe both.)  She didn't like the US, because of the gun violence and mass shootings.  Because her fiancé blew his brains out five years ago she continues to be triggered by anything gun related.  She said she was working to get past that, when we were dating, so it felt like she was just piling on the pity.  It would be cruel to take the position that she's not allowed to feel traumatized, but she didn't witness him do it and it's clear she's not sought any professional help to get past it.  

She was in full swing about how horrible her life was when I chimed in about her complete absence of  contrition for ghosting me, then a year later, hitting me in the face with her little hooker excursion.  As I previously mentioned, that's when she disengaged.  Fuck, she didn't so much as throw a bit of perfunctory sentiment of being sorry.  Definitely not a hooker with a heart of gold.  If I'm ever that self-absorbed, someone shoot me.

At the end, I just wanted to virtually grab her by the collar and give her the speech.  You're fifty one years old and left a decent paying job to be a fucking hooker.  Beyond sucking dick (which you didn't do that well), you have no transferrable skills that would allow you to stay in Europe and make a living.  It's time to grow the fuck up and face your challenges.  You can either seek help or be a sniveling little bitch, being triggered by everything.  And no, it's not easy being single at this stage in life; it can be traumatizing.  But how many decent men are going to want to be with a woman with a pattern of being a hooker when things get tough?  I sure as hell wouldn't date you again.  Pull your shit together and grow the fuck up.

As a final funny point (as in fucked up, not humorous), I found her online hooker ad, which lists all the services she offers and sure enough, she's available for gang bangs.  Here's the link, if you're so inclined.  (btw, she's about doubled in weight since I last saw her)

Gang Bang Queen for Hire

As of today, she only has one review and her calendar seems to be wide open.  Not much of a whore...

p.s. - I realize my tone is a bit cold on this entry, but I'm out of fucks to give for people who won't grow the fuck up.

Anti Abortion Head Explodes - Film at 11

 I can stop prodding the right wing loonies any time I want to.  I don't have a problem.  Oh fuck it, don't judge me for putting the fun back into fundamentalist!

Today, we talk about abortion (not a laugh riot, I know) and how to make a supposed pro-lifer's head  explode.  Note: that's the last time I use the term 'pro-life' to refer to those who oppose abortion, because it's not true and wrongly portrays those with opposing views as not being pro-life.  Not that it should matter, but I'm an advocate of making safe abortions available to women.  That shouldn't be interpreted as applauding every abortion that takes place or considering it to be a method of birth control, like condoms.  I shared this, along with other points of view, when the dipshits tried to pigeonhole me into a party.  I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when the room went full Christian fundamentalist and barraged me with messages about killing babies.  And what fun would it be without some good old fashioned misogyny, generalizing women who got abortions as 'road whores' who'd fuck anyone.  Fun crowd.  The best part was that they screamed accountability for the 'whores', but assumed the men wouldn't be around to face 'personal accountability'.  WTELF?  

Once they'd worked themselves into a lather (with some assistance on my part), I posed a question that resulted in several heads exploding.  You can preach personal accountability all you want, but the reality of the situation is many of those unwanted children will be treated as such.  Abuse and neglect will occur, resulting in some being criminals and murderers.  This assertion has been confirmed via multiple studies that have found a distinct and significant correlation between Roe v Wade and a decrease in crime.  There was a significant decrease in crime roughly fifteen years after the court decision.  Sticking with the theme of murder, they found a 30% decrease in homicides directly attributable to the court case.  Now you've got a dilemma.  Do you a) allow abortions to take place, making society safer as a whole or b) ban them, knowing it'll cause a 30%  increase in murders as a result? (in addition to the number of women who die by having unsafe abortions and kids subjected to toxic upbringing)  Please choose one.

Which option was most frequently chosen?  Trick question, despite my prodding and even calling them scared little girls for doing so, no one would answer.  Instead, as with every question I've posed about how the right would fix a problem (i.e. homelessness), there was a wave of how Democrats suck and have fucked things up.  Full of hatred, but no solutions.  New slogan for the Republican party.

I also poked the bear by pointing out the massive self-owns by the far right, with their 'my body, my choice' signs and how that concept seems to only apply to vaccinations, not women's bodies.  In the end, they proved what many of us already know to be true; most ardent anti abortionists consider every life to be sacred until it comes out of the womb and outlawing abortion is really about controlling women.  Finally, I understand there are those who have a genuine religious belief that abortion is murder, but making them illegal has consequences you can't ignore.  

Did you know that one of the first instances of medical tourism was around abortion?  There were several reputable clinics in Mexico, that women would go to.  Hang out on the beach and have an abortion, while you're there.

Today In Right Wing Media - A Woman Has Her Car Stolen

 A story, broken by the crack reporters at Fox News, today made some connections very clear.  What those were, I have no idea.  But in their never ending crusade to kill George Soros, they blame everything they can think of on him.  In this case, it was the theft of a University of New Mexico law professor's car.  

It seems that the maroon Hyundai of law professor Mary Pareja was stolen last Tuesday afternoon sometime between 2:00 and 5:30.  The story goes on to note that at this same time the local district attorney, Raul Torrez, was on campus, giving a speech about crime in Albuquerque.  What made this crime particularly egregious was that this same DA was a beneficiary of Soros, kind of.  Soros had donated $107,000 to a political action committee that backed Torrez in the Democratic primary.  

The story goes on to babble about how bad crime is in New Mexico and seems to make an attempt to pin that and the stolen car on Soros.  Fuck, I'm not sure what I just read for the second time.  Who really does know with the right wing media?  Except that liberals bad, Biden bad, conservatives (who really aren't conservative, just Biden haters) good, Trump good or we just don't talk about him, depending on the outlet.  All I know is it feels like my IQ drops a little more with every bit of this garbage I read.  

Caravans and Blow Guns

 A recent exchange with someone on another blog left me with another data point to support my unoriginal assertion that those who are anti vax / anti mandate / anti everything that isn't a cheeto faced shit gibbon are getting their news from sources that don't just manipulate facts, but ignore them altogether.  I've decided to take a stroll through one of these outlets and blow some shit up, so you don't have to.  

In this instance, I was encouraged to read a story on Conservative-daily's website.  This particular bit of news was how a leaked Department of Defense document stated that hospitalizations doubled after the vaccine was introduced.  Scary, except for it being bullshit.  First, DOD doesn't track that shit, because they're the DOD and not the CDC or NIH.  Second, the supposedly leaked doc was nowhere to be found on the site to validate the story.  My theory is said document only exists in the minds of those who publish the site.  What I discovered to be a recurring theme was the use of this self-admitted inexperienced and non-expert attorney as an expert mouthpiece to give various claims more weight.  This dude is all over the sight and I can't figure out why.  

The lead story today is a standard dog whistle topic - the alleged migrant caravan heading for the US border.  Apparently, there's a leader of that caravan and he's 'declared war' on something.  For the record, this is the same caravan on which the dumb right's been sounding alarm bells about since cheeto face took office.  Either that caravan doesn't exist of it's the slowest fucking thing ever.  And in case one caravan doesn't sufficiently scare you, there's a story about a caravan of migrants from Africa now.  Two fucking caravans heading our way.  Yeah, sure there are.

Another awesome story covers how the left is casting aspersions and calling into question the outcome of the election audit in Arizona, performed by the brilliant folks of Cyberninjas.  Not they're fucking not, because the audit found that not only did Biden win there, but by a larger margin than previously reported.  

Of course, there's a story about how Mark Milley committed treason by having the same conversations with the Chinese that every damned one of his predecessors had.  

Finally, there are a few stories near and dear to my heart, relating to guns.  First is how Dems are trying to push Biden's ATF nominee through, despite objections from Republicans.  Only problem with said story is the president withdrew that gun grabber from consideration several weeks ago.  

The best story on there is the one about the Biden administration banning imports of Russian ammunition and how horrible it is.  First, it's not a complete ban, rather a halt on granting new licenses to import.  Existing licenses will be left alone, preventing an interruption in supply.  Second, the REAL conservative position on the subject would be to absolutely make it more difficult to buy ammo from our enemy, likely through higher tariffs, and engage with domestic suppliers to find out why they can't be competitive.  

I may have signed up to comment on that story...completely by accident, of course. 

Oh wait, this thing is like herpes...it keeps on giving.  The absolute best story on there is about how the FDA is going to force vaccinations and use blow darts to carry them out.  Until I hit that story, there was a part of me that wanted to give the ignorant some benefit of the doubt.  But damn, you have to be a bit of a moron to buy that one.  Blow darts!!!

Vaccine Mandates - Not Tyranny

Hey you!  Yeah, you...turn off Tucker for a moment and listen up.  I bet you're singing along with that whiny little hypocritical shithead that vaccine mandates are tyranny and interfere with your freedoms.   I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you lack access to actual data, only receive Fox and OAN, and that you're not willfully ignorant.

The bottom line is that vaccine mandates aren't tyranny, no matter what you hear from the right wing media.  Worth mentioning is Fox, OAN, and all the other toxic bullshit factories have vaccination mandates for their employees.  If your friend Tucker really believed what he was saying about mandates being tyranny, you'd think he'd be raging against his employer.  But he isn't.  I wonder why that is?  

I realize that should have been the killer punch, but let's dig into some additional food for thought.

I like data, so let's move on to the numbers.  They're big ones, but I've done my best to simplify them so you'll understand.  

There have been six hundred eighty thousand total deaths in the US due to Covid.  Of the one hundred sixty plus million who've been fully vaccinated, there have been one thousand four hundred deaths.  That number represents less than one percent of those who've been vaccinated.  LESS THAN ONE PERCENT!!!  Oh, there were over two thousand deaths from Covid, just yesterday; you can guess how many were vaccinated.  

The vaccine is effective and has saved thousands of lives; it's also FDA approved, so cross that objection off your list.

I know what you're thinking - it's still tyranny to force people to get vaccinated.  You're standing up to be dumb enough to avoid getting jabbed, get the virus, and die in your mobile home.  Trust me, if the virus only impacted the willfully ignorant, I'd be fighting alongside you, defending your right to demonstrate natural selection at work.  If only it worked that way.  

The vaccine is effective against the current variants, but viruses mutate as they're spread around, until they morph into a variant the vaccine can't defend against.  This is why you need a flu shot every year; to protect from the latest mutations.  Ultimately, the spread by the unvaccinated will allow Covid to mutate into one of those variants that the current vaccine can't fight and we'll be back to square one.  Those who remain ignorant and unvaccinated are lengthening the pandemic and making it more difficult to fight.

Even with the current variants, stupid mother fuckers like you are winding up in ICU's hand over fist and are taking beds that are needed for those whose conditions weren't preventable with a fucking shot.  There have been dozens of accounts where someone having a major cardiac issue or something equally critical have either wound up dying for lack of a bed or had to be transported several hundred miles away from home, because that's where the closest empty bed was located.

You and those like you have blood on your hands from the deaths you cause every damned day you remain unvaccinated.  These deaths are your fault, Fudd.

Do employers really have the right to mandate vaccinations?  Damn skippy they do, for two main reasons.  First, they pay your fucking health insurance and the costs go through the roof when they have a bunch of dumb fucks get sick from Covid, not to mention lost productivity because your dumb ass isn't working.  More importantly, they have a legal obligation to provide their employees with a safe working environment.  A bunch of spreaders running around is the opposite of safe.  The Federal government is the largest employer in the US and are subject to the same shit as other employers.  So is your corner coffee shop, hotel, and every other business you infect by walking into every day.  

In summary, neither you nor I have the personal freedom to kill those around us by spreading a deadly virus.  Not much different than walking around with an open jar of anthrax.

Finally, the above also applies to mask mandates.  Those of you who decry such measures in schools because you know what's best for your kids are killing them too.  

Fucking Filters

This subject isn't anything new, but I don't recall seeing a proper rant on the topic.  Therefore, I'm picking up the mantel and including it in my Old Man Ranting Series

Technology has delivered to us digital camera technology that yields photos with amazing clarity and resolution.  Today, even cell phone cameras yield superior quality, compared to high end digital cameras of even a few years ago.  With all of this amazing capability, it would follow that dating profile pictures would be crystal clear, but sadly, this isn't the case.  Someone created some filter app (maybe there's more than one; how would I know?) that allows the user to soft focus pictures to felony level, making it almost impossible to distinguish someone's features.  And a considerable number of women are utilizing this filter to laughable results.  Perhaps men are as well, but I don't look at their dating profiles.  Seriously, I've seen so many of these that I almost scheduled a doctor's visit to be checked for cataracts.  The worst are the ones who dial in eye liner enhancements to max level, making them appear ready for the next best horror film and causing small children to cry.

I'm sure most of my readers share my position that these filters have no place on dating sites.   Unless you plan on meeting someone after consuming half a bottle of Don Julio, you want their photos to provide an accurate representation of who you're about to meet.  Perhaps the only exception to posting such photos would be if someone had their portrait done by Annie Leibovitz and she incorporated some sort of filter.  But the most gifted portrait photographer on the planet doesn't use soft focus, so there goes that excuse.  Look, none of us become more attractive from our late forties onward; it's a fact of life.  And try as you might, those filters don't fix ugly, so if you're using them, save yourself the guaranteed ghosting after (or during) your first date.   

Some will never give up their squint inducing fog filters.  I recently saw a profile on the Big T where not only were filters used in the manner I've described, but the woman was positively combative about using them.  Apparently, potential matches challenged her on the subject and she was asserting her right to post pictures that didn't look like her.

While on the subject of filters, if you're past forty years old, leave the fucking snap chat filters alone.  Unless it was a Halloween costume, bunny ears, cat whiskers, etc. don't paint you as playful or fun.  It just screams immature.  Worse yet, the majority of those you love the bunny ears typically run the picture through the Don Julio blur filter first, completely obscuring any facial detail.  A forty something woman that does that screams she's trying to hide ugly.   

Embrace who you are and be proud of it, people.

Millions of People Believe The Election Was Stolen

Over the past few months, we've all heard this over and over from right wing dipshit members of Congress and state governors.  The statement is invariably used as justification for increasing the security of our election process.  Of course their definition is to make the process more secure from those pesky people of color and other left leaning types.   The dipshits are no longer claiming the election had actually been stolen, because anyone with half a brain would vilify them for being morons and/or liars.  The cry is that millions of people believe it was.  

What makes my head hurt is how they're claiming action is required because millions of people believe something happened that didn't happen at all.  If the election was stolen from the Cheeto Faced Shit Gibbon, why didn't the Dems steal any state legislatures and flip them?   If you're defrauding the poor Liar in Chief out of his office, why not go big?  Also, why don't you tell them it didn't happen, moron?   You know...the truth???  Fuck you, logic and reason.  But I digress.

Rather than cause my readers and myself to have an aneurism by further discussing the moronic talking points, I want to provide some context with respect to the number of people who believe the lie, versus other not real things Americans believe in.  All of the numbers below are from one or more legitimate studies, based upon responses by American adults.  Let's see if there are any other misconceptions that require a more urgent response.  

Our baseline:  30-50 million Republicans believe the outcome of the Presidential election was due to fraud, depending on your source and day of the week.  

Again, what about others who aren't that bright?  We need to address their concerns in a far more urgent matter versus our baseline group.*

- 114 million people (44%) aren't confident vaccines don't cause autism

- 85 million (33%) Americans are unable to identify a right protected in the first amendment to the Constitution.  A similar amount were unable to name either of the three branches of the US government.  If a third of Americans don't know jack about the Constitution, how the fuck would they know if an election had been stolen?

- 65 million (25%) believe the sun revolves around the earth. 

- 52 million (20%) don't know hamburgers are made from beef.

Other groups that are smaller, but more disconcerting, should be addressed as well.

- 18 million (7%) think that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.  

- 12 million (5%) believe a master race of interstellar lizard people secretly run the US.  Offers a good rationale for not learning the Constitution, I guess.

There are a lot of Americans impacted by these various concerns, for much longer than the dumb MAGA heads have been impacted by their most recent stupidity.  What about them?  More people don't know that hamburgers are made from beef than believe the election was stolen!  What about the children??

If you're looking for some kernel of wisdom in this entry, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed.  However, I will offer my own conclusion from the above data, which is Americans are fucking dumbasses who deserve to be ruled by the lizard people.

*Numbers based upon basis of 258 million adults in the US.

I Was a Threat and Had to Go

We've all heard someone make such a claim to legitimize getting whacked from a job.  It's typically those you know to be incompetent who make it, so no one takes it seriously.  However, in my case, it's true.  Below is my story.  

It started out as the best thing that happened in my career.  I was an actual executive with a VP title and everything.  All of North American sales and marketing reported to me.  The company was privately held, based in Switzerland, but mostly run by Germans.  I was the first American to run the business in over a decade as was my boss, the president of North America.  

Unfortunately, I quickly realized my boss was in way over his head.  He'd never actually managed anyone before and his previous role was as an application engineer.  The controller and I agreed we'd mentor the president; we were confident he'd rise to the occasion.  Except, not only did he not rise, he withdrew and became more resentful toward me as time went by.  

When I started, he told me he would be in the office from 9 a.m. until 3 p.m. as he was responsible for the logistics for his offspring at school.  He'd be working from home and available on his mobile outside that window.  Except not only did he keep that same schedule year round, he was completely dark, when not in the office.  And that's when he decided to come in at all.  On the full days he worked from home, he was not only unreachable, but occasionally posted golf scores on his FB page (according to those who were friends with him).  There were periods of time where no one knew where he was or could get in touch with him.  One of those was when a board member from Switzerland popped by.  'We were in the same meetings, how could he just disappear?'

The man refused to make a decision on anything.  The most jaw dropping example was at a baseball game.  We'd booked sky boxes for the entire staff, complete with catering.  Sometime around the 6th inning, a hostess popped by to ask Jason if we were about done eating or would we like a final food restock.  My girlfriend and I were sitting behind Jason and were both stunned when he literally began to stammer, finally spitting out 'uh...go ask our controller'.  That's how paralyzed he was.  

Another perfect example of his complete lack of ownership was the day our office was in the path of a complete nightmare of a storm.  Hail, wind, torrential rain.  It was so bad, I grabbed my team and hustled them to the safest place in the building I could think of.  No surprise that we lost power.  That shouldn't have been a problem because our building had a generator.  But it wouldn't start because Jason hadn't signed the maintenance agreement.  So there we were; about 20 people dead in the water without power.  After it was clear that situation wouldn't be remedied any time soon, I headed over to Jason's office to huddle up on next steps.  I planned to let my own people go home, but he owned the operations side.  I wanted us to be aligned on our actions.  When I reached his door, he was in front of it, his cute little backpack on his shoulders, locking it up.  When I asked what he was doing, he said 'I'm goin' home.'   I stood there dumbfounded as he walked away, his people stuck in the dead building because he hadn't given them permission to leave.  I turned on my heel and went around, sending everyone home.  The most telling aspect of the story came the next morning, when the warehouse manager called my cell to inform me the power was still off and that they needed direction.  Despite being completely useless, I always deferred to Jason on operations issues and responded to the warehouse manager that Jason would have to make that call.  She interupted me mid sentence to say she'd already tried him and it went right to voicemail.  Then, she said something to the effect of 'you and I both know Jason's MIA and couldn't make a decision even if she could reach him.  Wow.

Because of his paralysis, I became the de facto leader of North America.  And I worked my ass off for my team; 60 hour weeks were the norm.  I quickly garnered their respect by being decisive and having a vision for the future (and communicating it).  There were literally occasions where a customer service person would stop at my door and say 'I'm so excited for the direction you're taking us'.  I shit you not.  

It was quite the downward spiral.  Jason could see he'd lost the team's respect, whereas I'd gained it.  His resentment toward me grew stronger by the day, as he saw me being who the team looked to.  He'd occasionally try to force me to kiss the ring, by berating me for doing something he didn't like, but would come up empty when I'd ask how I should have handled it.  We were spending too much money on promotion, but I caught hell for planning to skip some expensive trade shows, where we didn't have anything new to promote anyway.  There are those who would suggest he was afraid of me.  Those episodes became more and more common, until they reached a breaking point.  I remember telling him 'you want to be a leader, then you have to lead!!!'

Shortly after, there was some sort of upcoming celebration planned, with both the Swiss owner and the CEO coming in to participate.  I had solid relationships with both.  Things with Jason had gotten to the point where it was time for all of his laundry to come out.  It was time for a coup.  Obviously, I kept that to myself, but Jason would have had to be brain dead to not realize I had reached my limit and would serve up a mound of dirt on him.  I suspect there were also things he caved on to the Germans that he was afraid to tell me, so he was afraid of what I'd say about that to the Swiss.  

That's when Jason actually grew a pair of balls and made a decision (to save himself).  He lobbed a note to the aforementioned owner and CEO stating I had to be dismissed with utmost urgency.  This note also outlined my various, and completely fictitious transgressions, to support his decision.  Because the Swiss are scum bags (I've got a dozen data points on that one), they let him do it.  I know these things because the owner and his wife invited me to dinner with them, the next time they were in town and shared the whole thing.  Hans said it came out of the blue.  I remember looking him in the eye and asking, 'didn't you think the timing was a bit odd, Hans?  He absolutely had to get rid of me right before you and Walter came over.'  Blank stare.  With Hans being Swiss, it was dropped there.  

Returning to when I was shown the door, Jason waited until a day I was working from home to inform me.  Some might say he was too afraid to do it face to face.  I was told I was done, that someone would be by to collect company property, and that I would be arrested if found on the company property.  Then came the crown jewel.  Jason went around to the members of my team I was closest to and informed them they were to have no communication with me and doing so would be grounds for termination.  What would lead the president of a company to put illegal conditions on employment for select individuals? 

In the years since, the owner recognized he was in over his head (we was a young guy and his grandfather was the founder) and hired a professional management team.  I'm sure the new CEO took a all of two minutes to see Jason for what he was, although it took a year before Jason was demoted back to engineering manager, having led the North American operation to double digit losses in the interim.  

Info about the company and Jason here.

Annual Dating Profile of the Week

It's been some time since I've posted a dating profile of the week.  This can be attributed to two factors.  First, I'm not actively looking and second, not much surprises me at this point.  The 'here are all the things I hate' profiles that share nothing about the person themselves, the half sentence profiles...they all run together at this point.  However, I recently stumbled upon a profile that made me stop in my tracks.  

This profile belongs to 'Bibbity' on Plenty of Fish and represents the essence of what Trump and willful ignorance does to people.  Unfortunately, the neither the website nor the app codes profiles as text anymore, which prohibits copying and pasting.  So, much as I'd like to share more of her lengthy profile, there was no way I was transposing the complete raft of garbage.  You'll have to make due with the snippets I did retype, which I did verbatim.  You can see it here - Profile

Bibbity is a 47 year old hair stylist from the same suburb in which I live and says:

If you are covid vaccinated please do not message me.  Im (sic) not interested in being with you...ever.  #mybodymychoice 

Full blown Trump supporter

But honestly if you hate him, please do not message me for as we will have zero in common.  I don't pander to snowflakes in la-la land.  Just tells me you are a follower, going with the flow and can't critically think for yourself.  Big fighter for freedom and truth.

Not only does this ignoramus want to risk getting Covid, but she won't be happy unless you do as well.  Apparently the idiotic hashtag only applies to her and not you, should you wish to date her; and I can't see why you wouldn't, considering her immense charm.  Seriously, I don't recall hearing any of the conspiracy fucktards spouting that being in contact with someone who's vaccinated could be harmful.  Perhaps she's a special breed of idiot.  

I'll skipe further commentary on this section, mostly because it makes my head hurt when I have to read the 'can't critically think for yourself' section.  

And why do people insist on putting hashtags where they aren't searchable?  

She goes on:

Don't send me hunky professional pics all the time and refuse to send a current. I WILL ASK YOU FOR A PICTURE DOING SOMETHING I ASKED YOU TO DO TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT SOME JERK CATFISHING ME. HOLY SNIKEYS!!!!!!! For example... Take a FACE selfie holding a spoon..... 

If a women demanded that sort of thing from me, regardless of whether she was a Trump supporter, I have just the photo I'd respond with.  

Some Marketing Advice for Online Merchants

Dear Online Merchants,

As a marketing professional and consultant, I'm regularly baffled by what many of you consider as acceptable engagement and retention practices toward your current and prospective customers.  Most are abysmal, which is putting it nicely.

I suggest each of you visit your website and discover for yourself how potentially aggravating most of your sites are.

Lately, I've seen a disturbing trend on suppliers' websites and it pisses me off both as a consumer and marketing professional.  Upon entering their websites, merchants will immediately accost you. Popups that scream 'Sign up for our email newsletter!'  'Chat with an expert now!'  If this is my first visit to your site, in what world would I want to sign up for your newsletter?  I want to know if you have what I want and the garbage you're throwing on my screen makes that act longer than it need be.  If I'm searching for an automatic iguana washer and you only have manual versions, I certainly don't want your newsletter.  What I want is to view a clear, comprehensive site, complete with all of the information for me to consider making a purchase decision.  

If I do need to chat with an expert and you've badgered me to do so, have a damned expert on the other end.  The few times I've actually engaged an 'expert', I've known more about the product than they did, mostly because I've already read the less than complete user manual on your site, which is his only source material.  I've had an expert tell me the product was compatible with an accessory I wanted to use with it, when in fact, it wasn't.  Fortunately, I didn't believe what I was being told, and it ended well.  No thanks to the 'expert'.

Email Engagement

Once someone has consented to receive emails from you, don't make them regret it.  How do you accomplish that goal?  First, let's talk about frequency of engagement.  Start by performing an honest self-assessment of how frequently your customers want or need your product / service.  Is your product a luxury or a necessity?  Do customers frequently make impulse buys of what you offer?  How many other options exist for customers in your product space?  Okay, you got it?  Keep that in the back of your mind; we'll return to it later. 

Before we discuss optimal frequency of email engagement, let's go over the different types of email you'll consider sending.  First are the emails that do nothing other than remind customers you exist and sell things they said they were interested in.  There's no need to share anything particularly earth shattering in  the 'hey, we're here' emails.  It's a free pass to lack exciting content.  But don't do that.  If a contact has consented to receive email marketing from you, they should feel as though opening your email was time well spent.  

The second type of email is the announcement.  This can be a new product, a sale, a new service, free donuts, etc.  Information on how to get the most out of your product is a great way to engage, too.  

Let's return to the earlier exercise and using what conclusions you made about your own product or service, let's start with determining how frequently you should remind your contacts that you exist.  Say, how many times per year.  Now, take that number and divide by four.  There is absolutely no reason to remind contacts you exist more than once or twice (at the maximum) per month, unless you've got an effective Covid vaccine.  

Announcements can be as frequently as you have something new to share.  These are the emails where you'd damned well bring some value to the recipient.  That means don't announce you 'Now have iguanas in stock!' if you've never run out of them.   And don't make the mistake of fabricating savings, by portraying something as being on sale, when you're just highlighting your everyday price.

All of this may seem to be common sense, but the number of times I've had to opt out of receiving emails says otherwise.  One of my favorite brands of men's shoes put me on their list, after my making a purchase from them.  They proceeded to send me an email every damned day, reminding me they had shoes, nothing more.  Same with an online seller of liquor.  I received three fucking emails per day, but they couldn't tell me when my order was going to ship.

There's one final type of marketing email to cover.  That's the one that encourages you to give another look at something you'd viewed on their site.  DON'T EVER SEND THIS TYPE OF EMAIL.  Speaking as a consumer, if I had any interest in purchasing that item, I'd already be aware you have it.  Receiving an email of this type serves only to peg my spam meter and often results in my making my purchase from another vendor, who doesn't send me these sorts of communication.  If you're some sort of twisted sociopath and feel you must send this email, offer the recipient some sort of motivation to come back and buy it.  Something like 10% off if you buy this item in the next hour.  The companies I receive these emails from don't offer any inducement for me to return to their site and their emails smell of desperation.  'Please come back and give us money!'

Ultimately, you need to ask yourself one question before sending another email and that is "what value am I bringing to the recipient, when I send them this email?"

I would suggest some of you take the time and effort you expend on spamming inboxes and channel it into creating a world class customer experience.

Sincerely,

SR

Innovation at Plenty of Shit

Plenty of Fish The website has been a previous target of my ire and continues to innovate in ways to raise it.  If I've not previously mentioned it, I was finally able to create an account on the site and not have it deleted fifteen minutes later.  Like other free dating sites, there's now a premium service option, where you pay and receive some sort of benefits.  No clue what they are, since communicating is still free and I don't care enough to investigate.  As usual, I have an opinion and that is those who pay for a free dating site are ripe targets for fleecing.  

One of the new features available to both the fleeced or unfleeced, is the option to check a box that prevents the unfleeced from contacting you.  The site attempts to convince you that they're more serious about finding a partner.  My position is do you really want to date someone who's dim enough to pay for a free site?  And besides, am I really going to pay for a service in the hopes the one person I'm interested will even respond?  Nah.  In any case, I've run across a few who've not unchecked the box and pass them by.  No one's been that irresistible.  That's where the site shows how slimy it's become.

Like every dating site, there's some way to 'like' another user.  You'll receive a little notification someone liked you and they show up in your matches.  Until I hid my profile, I was receiving a growing number of likes from really beautiful women.  I'd click on them and immediately got the pop up saying this member only receives messages from those who've been properly fleeced.  Hmm...something's not quite kosher, but I can't put my finger on it.  LOL

I'm sure you can fill in the blanks from there.  

On a semi-related note, Okey Cupie has updated their site / app again and achieved the pinnacle of making it completely unusable.  No longer can you just do a basic search for people in your area, within an age range.  You're forced to search by interests or some shit.  Oh, and of course, they want to fleece you as well.  Not surprising, considering they're both owned by the same company.

Of course, at this point in time, fleeced or unfleeced, ain't no one worth the risk of infection.

And that's the dating scene in 2020.

A Tale of Self-Centeredness

Under the heading of shit I've only encountered in Kansas...

Long story short, I had made contact with a woman who, after a year of being celibate, wanted to get laid on NYE.  We agreed to meet beforehand, in order we weren't stuck with someone we didn't like the day of.

So she arrived Christmas evening and the sex was halfway decent.  A Christmas miracle!  She appeared to be dateworthy, so she stayed and additional quality sex was had.  Her selfish tendencies came to light during that sex, however.  Before we met, I made a point of sharing how a previous partner's selfishness in the bedroom doomed our relationship to a platonic one.  I very clearly explained what that hot button was for me.  During the time we were together, she pounded the shit out of that button over and over.  Not a good start.

One of the two nights I was getting ready for bed, when she asked if the phone charger next to the bed was mine.  As if it could belong to someone else?  I responded that it was.  Except she decided it was hers, because when I came into the bedroom, her phone was plugged into it, .

While she was here, most of the conversation was her relating drama about her family, the divorce process, and a few other topics.  She was frequently in tears talking about it.  While I'm not unsympathetic, I'll admit that got a bit old.

The thing that wouldn't leave finally departed late Friday morning because she needed to attend a funeral.  She said she'd text me as soon as she knew whether she could come over or if things had gone long.  When I didn't receive a text by 6:30 p.m., I decided she was on her own for dinner.  When one hadn't arrived at 7:30 p.m., I'd pretty much decided that, sans another death or severe bodily trauma, she was getting the heave ho.  At 7:50 p.m., a text finally arrived, saying she was tired and would text me in the morning.  Yeah, thanks for letting me know early enough so that I could adjust my plans...  In my potentially fantasy world, when you say you're going to text someone with plans, you text someone with plans, whether they're your friend or some dipshit you work with.

At 12:50 Saturday morning, I was awoken by knocking on my door.  It was followed by door bell ringing.  That pattern alternated without pause.  Knock knock knock knock, ring ring ring...  It was fucking constant.  At that point, I didn't know who was at my door, and willing them to shut the fuck up wasn't working.  So, as one does when there's a lunatic at their front door, I grabbed something in a large caliber and went downstairs to investigate.  You already know it was her.  Well, I went off on her in the semi-coherent manner one does when one is awoken from a deep sleep.  However, the message that she needed to stay the fuck away from me was crystal clear.

Fortunately, all indications are she did listen to that bit of direction.

In summary, holy fuck, I've never encountered anyone so self-centered and ultimately bereft of courtesy toward others.  Such a shame, because the sex was about the best I've had in the flatlands.

Out of Work Trophy Wife Encounter

Yes readers, one sneaked through my selection process and it didn't end well.  Our first interaction was through Match and she seemed intelligent, motivated, kind, and hot, but not OWTW hot.  Her profile and initial round of notes indicated she was a special needs teacher.  I'll fast forward through much of the intervening communication and provide the salient facts, since she's not really worth typing a great deal about.  We got onto the topic of sex, she wanted it, I'm a master at talking dirty and creating images, we were going to meet last night for dinner and she'd come over and begin to explore her submissive side.  I do love me some exploration.  We both seemed to want a genuine relationship and I parroted her desires, in that aspect of our communication.  I probably took it a bit further due to a combination of excitement over (seemingly) finding someone in Kansas worth dating. 

At this point, I'll mention recognizing a few red flags pointing to a potential OWTW, including how her successful, and apparently fuck nuts, attorney husband had traded her in on a younger model.

The day before our date, she went a bit dark, cutting email down to a single note.  I asked her if everything was okay, at which point she told me she thought I was pushing for something more serious than she wanted.  I responded that I had no interest in jumping into anything.  Her note made it clear she didn't accept what I'd told her.  Perhaps if I'd mentioned that there's no way in hell I want to establish anything remotely resembling roots in fucking Kansas. 

By the time our date rolled around, I knew there was no way she was coming home with me.  She arrived decked out in designer clothing and admittedly, looked quite delicious.  Dinner was full of vacuous conversation, where I learned she actually wasn't teaching, or working at all.  She was dabbling and not happy with any of her teaching options.  That one wasn't an immediate bell, because I was still determining whether I could get her in the sack.  Sorry, I'm a guy after all.  Dinner ended, with no conversation about her coming home with me, so I broached the topic.  As expected, she declined, sticking to her story of my wanting to move too quickly and how she didn't want to hurt me.  I commented that she had clearly made up her mind before coming to dinner, which she denied.  I'll come back to that.

I made the mistake of asking something to the effect of why she came to dinner, knowing she wasn't going home with me.  And she let me have it with everything she could think of: the rushing into a relationship, how she didn't like the phrasing I used in one of my notes, how I didn't apologize properly for something she felt I needed to apologize.  She was put off that I couldn't come up with any sexual fantasies, when she asked (sorry, they're not really fantasies after they've been fulfilled).  Then, she berated me for foisting fantasies onto her (except they weren't fantasies, but dirty things most other women enjoyed).  She took issue with things I'd said that I never said; those had to have come from some other guy.  On and on it went, with no end in sight.  I've had women I'd been dating for months tell me off in a shorter amount of time than this woman I'd just met.   She'd run through her list of transgressions, then circle back to the beginning, finding some new grievance to add for the next rotation.  I've never experienced anything like this!  I did everything I could think of to indicate the conversation was over, to gracefully make an exit.  I did this twice, but she wasn't losing any steam, so I wound up doing something I've never done before.  I got up and walked out on her, muttering something to the effect of 'have a nice life'.

It hit me later that all of these supposed transgressions occurred before we laid eyes on each other, so which only adds fuel to my previous query of why did she meet in the first place.  What a truly horrible encounter.

As I'm sure you can tell, I'm still angered by the whole episode, but was able to perform a post mortem on the date and finally uncover her motive for coming to dinner; the only possible motive.  She was still sexed up, from the dirty talk I'd been plying her with and was hoping I'd be more of a stud muffin than I appeared in my pictures.  At that point, she would have likely forgotten the whole 'hurting others' thing and gone home with me.  Transparent and shallow; not the things I look for in a woman.

And what pisses me off the most is I spent $30 on some fucking grapefruit flavored Absolut that she asked for me to have for her.  It's not the money, mind you, but the reminder of the bitch every time I open the freezer.  I sure as hell won't drink it.  Anyone want a bottle of nasty vodka?

Concealed Carry Permits - Kansas Finds Yet Another Way To Suck

If I'm allowed to carry a concealed handgun in the state I live, I plan on doing so.  We'll skip the existential debate surrounding guns and such, because I won't go there.  This post is intended to be another in the series that never ends on why Kansas sucks; the concealed carry permit application process.  Since most of my readers have likely never applied for a concealed carry permit (CCW), I'll compare and contrast with the two other states in which I've held permits, Virginia and Pennsylvania.  All three are 'shall issue' states, which means they will issue anyone a carry permit, unless a legitimate reason exists to not do so.  In other words, the applicant need not justify the need for a permit (i.e. owns a jewelry store and carries large sums of cash) to receive one.

We'll begin with qualifications; what sort of bona fides does an applicant require to apply for a permit?  (We'll assume our applicant has a clean criminal record and no other disqualifying attributes.)

PA:  Nada
VA:  Essentially, if you've ever taken a handgun course, been in law enforcement, or shot competitively, you're good.
A fairly low bar; I submitted my scores from previous matches I've shot. 

KS:  Applicants must complete a 9 hour CCW class that reviews gun safety and self-defense laws, followed by a handgun proficiency test (that literally everyone passes; the instructors made sure of that) and a written exam (with the same level of difficulty as the shooting qual).
Everyone must take the class.  Doesn't matter if you're a former Navy SEAL, who practices defense law now.  You're taking the class.

I've held a CCW permit for 20+ years and always taken an active interest in understanding the relevant laws.  Plus, I shot competitively for a dozen years and even taught new shooter classes.  As you can imagine, the class was beyond painful for me.  I was a good boy though, and didn't call the instructor out on any of his bullshit, just sitting there and trying not to cringe.  I did laugh at the shooting qual, not because it was beyond remedial, but because of the range officer's reaction.  RO's were there for safety and to provide advice to the shooters, which they did by 'reading' targets (a way of identifying common mistakes based upon where the shots hit).  I used the same tactic when teaching new shooters.  The one in my area gets to my target, in which all the holes are neatly clustered in what would be the A zone if we were using a USPSA target (even though I'd not shot a gun in 9 years).  He had this befuddled look on his face and reluctantly admitted 'I'm not sure how much help I can give you'.  I chuckled and revealed my background.  Hell, just the gun I was shooting likely had more rounds through it than all the other students had shot, in their lives.

Back to the process...

PA and VA:  Take your paperwork (application and supporting documents) and a check to your local courthouse.  Submit, get fingerprinted, and receive your permit in the mail in 7-10 days.

KS:
Have passport photos taken.
Attach two of those to your application, then take all your shit (certificate from the mandatory class) to the local sheriff, along with two checks (one for the AG, the other to National Inbreeding Foundation, the fuck if I can remember). While they've got you bent over for the fees, they'll also fingerprint you.

In some period of time, you'll receive something in the mail that says you're approved.  You'll take that to your local drivers licence center, where they take your picture (what the hell happened to the photos I already submitted???), and mail your permit in another 7-10 days.  Quick and efficient!

Let's discuss fees.
VA and PA are both $35
Kansas continues to demonstrate how it excels in all aspects of sucking donkey dicks.  You'll be writing checks for $132.50.  No, that's not a typo.

To add one final dimension of suck to Kansas, their permit's only valid for four years, where VA and PA are good four five.  Fuck, for $132, Kansas' permit should be valid for a decade and include valet service!

I have to admit to being a bad boy, in class, when the instructor went through the required steps.  It was a completely involuntary uttering of 'you've got to be kidding, right?'

Let's wrap up with a quick recap.
PA and VA:
One stop at your local sheriff / circuit court
Cost $35
Your permit is valid for 5 years.

Kansas:
Four stops, including 9 hours lost in a class I didn't need. 
$132.50
Valid for 4 years.

And I know what you're thinking; 'He's just looking for things to bitch about, now.  Kansas can't suck that badly.'  You're wrong.  While it was with neither glee nor joy that I relocated here, I actually had the mindset that the only thing I'd be giving up was topography and the richness of Richmond itself, and having 2 hour access to the beach, mountains, and DC.  I figured 'how bad could it be?'  The fact is that Kansas has repeatedly beaten me about the head and neck, seemingly yelling 'you made such a mistake moving here; what the fuck were you thinking???'  Seriously, even removing the flatness and bad roads from the equation, every damned aspect of living here is worse than anywhere I've lived before.  I've racked my brain, attempting to identify one point of life, one little thing that's better here than the East Coast.  But there just aren't any.  Restaurants, grocery stores, things to do, cost of living, dating, ease of life, weather...they all suck here.  Perhaps my new hobby should become binge drinking.

Happy living, readers!

A Trip To The DMV - Kansas Finds More Ways To Suck

The DMV is never fun, regardless of where you live.  However, this week, Kansas took the experience to a new and painful level for me.  In this state, you must traverse a multi-stage process for titling / registering your vehicles, when you move from another state.  First, you must present the vehicle and title to the Kansas Highway Patrol for them to validate the VIN's match, then do the DMV purgatory.  I took both of my cars for the VIN check, a few weeks ago; each requiring over an hour of waiting and messing about with apathetic civil servants.  I didn't find time to complete the process until this past week.

Wednesday morning, I set out for the drivers license facility (different than the DMV) and managed to knock that out in about an hour.  Not bad for the typical government parade of sloths.  What made me chuckle is the temporary DL I received, which looks like a bar receipt; on thermal paper and everything.  This thing has to last 30-45 days; imagine trying to keep a receipt from Target that long (in your wallet).  Both PA and VA (the two other states in which I've lived) had facilities in which you walked out with a real license. 

Bar receipt in hand, I trekked to the DMV to finish the process.  After waiting the proper 25 minutes, I was called to window 12, where I presented my completed paperwork.  The drone behind the counter told me I must have handed her the wrong title, because the inspection sheet noted a KTM motorcycle.  I don't own a motorcycle which meant the damned inspection station screwed up.  Back in the car, I trudged to the KHP facility, where I was told to sign in and take a seat.   I responded 'I don't plan on being here long enough to need a seat.  You need to remedy this mixup and have me on my way.'  The woman manning the counter looked at me and, I swear on my grandmother's grave, said 'remedy?'  I stared at her and said 'fix'.  'Oh, okay; wait a minute.'  A few minutes later, I made the return trip back to the DMV.  I approached another counter, this time, and presented my now correct paperwork. 

'Do you have your VA registration?'
'Uh, no...it wasn't on the list of documents I was to provide, based upon your website.'
'Well, I need it to determine timing for your taxes.' 
It's obvious I had the registration for the vehicle I was driving, but the reg for my other car was, shocker, in my other car.

Thus, I found myself making another trek, still nowhere near completing my task.  After grabbing some lunch, kicking a few kittens, and otherwise releasing my frustrations, I returned to the DMV.  This time, I had everything I needed and was able to complete the full transaction.  Although, the final act was to pay KS property tax on my cars, which was 20% higher than what I paid in VA.  I pretty much said to the drone behind the counter 'you've got to be kidding! You charge more than a real state and still have shit roads and services.  How the hell do you charge this much?'  Not surprising I received no response on that one. 

In any case, I'm now legal in the state of...I can't even say it. 

How was your week?