User Interfaces - WTF??

Another in my Old Man Ranting Series

There seems to be an unwritten rule amongst those who create user interfaces for software, apps, and other consumer devices.  That is once users have become accustomed to finding everything they need, we must change the fucking interface.  Until tonight, my ire was mostly kept in check, but I hit two major 'gotta change' landmines within the past 48 hours and I'm pissed.  Strangely, the same culprit laid both mines.  

Yesterday, I decided I wanted to use the Amazon music app for the errand run I was about to embark on.  When my phone hooked up to my Bluetooth stereo, the screen changed to what I came to discover was car mode.  And fuck, this thing made no sense.  I couldn't find the specific music I wanted to listen to.  Was Amazon thinking 'Let's cause people to crash their cars by making them have to figure out a whole new UI that was created to prevent people from crashing their cars.'  I'll spare you my tirade about parties deciding for you what you should see.  Fortunately, I could disable it and did at my first stop.

Then tonight, when I kicked on my Fire TV for entertainment before jumping on my treadmill, I was greeted by a 'we've updated your experience' screen, followed by a two minute video explaining how they'd fucked everything up...I mean moved everything to where I can't find it...oh, fuck it, you know what I mean.  Getting out of the video was challenging; it really wanted you to see the masterpiece.  Profanity echoed from the walls of my gym!  Fortunately, I was able to get to the content I wanted quickly.

In all fairness, I shouldn't be surprised at Amazon fucking shit up.  The hardware they make, or more accurately the hardware they have made to put their name on, is almost universally shit.  The aforementioned Fire TV was the second in that location and 4th or 5th replacement overall.  Don't get me started on the new Kindle.  The first generation was a simple device; reliable, durable, easy to use, and had real buttons.  This latest version is a handheld advertisement that's anything but intuitive and utilizes a touch screen that no longer contains information such as progress through the book you're reading or how much battery you have left.  And the processor makes it...the...slowest...hand...held...device...you've...ever...seen.  My decade old Kindle was much faster, had greater functionality, and didn't barrage me with ads.  Unfortunately, the battery took the big dirt nap, leaving me no choice but to replace it.

Back to the UI topic.  The biggest offender of them all, with respect to moving shit around unnecessarily, is Microsoft.  My job requires me to use Office; Outlook, Powerpoint, Excel are daily staples.  The upgrade associated with Windows 10 was an abomination, with features and functions moved all over the place, and some actually being removed.  The learning curve was insane and I'm still not as adept with it as I'd been with the previous versions.  Were I to hold Bill Gates at knifepoint and force him to tell me why he committed such blasphemy, I'm sure he'd whimper something about it being more intuitive.  Considering that current users, who'd already gotten used to the UI, outnumber new users who might find the new UI easier to learn, by about one trillion to one, I think most would agree that fucking up the existing UI to be fucking moronic.  

To those who have any input in designing this sort of stuff, let me offer some words of advice.  If you implement a facelift to your UI that requires users watch a two fucking minute video guide, you've failed and are undeserving of your job or life.  If your new UI requires any sort of acclimation curve versus the old one, you're a failure.  Users of consumer devices don't want to have to figure out your shit more than once.  After the initial learning curve, which had better be brief, they want to pick up their device and use it NOW.  People don't like new and unimproved. 

Fucking Filters

This subject isn't anything new, but I don't recall seeing a proper rant on the topic.  Therefore, I'm picking up the mantel and including it in my Old Man Ranting Series

Technology has delivered to us digital camera technology that yields photos with amazing clarity and resolution.  Today, even cell phone cameras yield superior quality, compared to high end digital cameras of even a few years ago.  With all of this amazing capability, it would follow that dating profile pictures would be crystal clear, but sadly, this isn't the case.  Someone created some filter app (maybe there's more than one; how would I know?) that allows the user to soft focus pictures to felony level, making it almost impossible to distinguish someone's features.  And a considerable number of women are utilizing this filter to laughable results.  Perhaps men are as well, but I don't look at their dating profiles.  Seriously, I've seen so many of these that I almost scheduled a doctor's visit to be checked for cataracts.  The worst are the ones who dial in eye liner enhancements to max level, making them appear ready for the next best horror film and causing small children to cry.

I'm sure most of my readers share my position that these filters have no place on dating sites.   Unless you plan on meeting someone after consuming half a bottle of Don Julio, you want their photos to provide an accurate representation of who you're about to meet.  Perhaps the only exception to posting such photos would be if someone had their portrait done by Annie Leibovitz and she incorporated some sort of filter.  But the most gifted portrait photographer on the planet doesn't use soft focus, so there goes that excuse.  Look, none of us become more attractive from our late forties onward; it's a fact of life.  And try as you might, those filters don't fix ugly, so if you're using them, save yourself the guaranteed ghosting after (or during) your first date.   

Some will never give up their squint inducing fog filters.  I recently saw a profile on the Big T where not only were filters used in the manner I've described, but the woman was positively combative about using them.  Apparently, potential matches challenged her on the subject and she was asserting her right to post pictures that didn't look like her.

While on the subject of filters, if you're past forty years old, leave the fucking snap chat filters alone.  Unless it was a Halloween costume, bunny ears, cat whiskers, etc. don't paint you as playful or fun.  It just screams immature.  Worse yet, the majority of those you love the bunny ears typically run the picture through the Don Julio blur filter first, completely obscuring any facial detail.  A forty something woman that does that screams she's trying to hide ugly.   

Embrace who you are and be proud of it, people.

My Own First Scammer

 If you've read my blog, you know that I'm no stranger to scammers, having dealt with the African ones who stole all of my father's savings.  However, today is the first time I've encountered a scammer on a dating site.  In all fairness, it's surprising it took this long.  I'd sent a note to a woman who seemed interesting; she was neither 27 nor out of my league.  In fact, she wasn't as attractive as most of the women I've dated.  Her response was that she's out of sorts due to a migraine and $65 short to buy the meds.  "Feel like death is so bad."

It's funny, because the tactic is the total opposite from what would work on me, if anything really would motivate me to send some unknown chick money.  Even if I were completely clueless about scams, I still wouldn't have sent her money due to her behavior being a complete turnoff.  

Regular readers know I can't just ignore a scammer and not fuck with them.  I just sent her a note, stringing her along, the intent being to see how much energy I can suck out of her.  Perhaps the next will be an offer to share some of my (non-existent) migraine meds if she comes over, ready for a gang bang, once they kick in.  

Covid Vaccines and Conspiracy Theories - Food For The Obtuse

Recently, I've been exposed to some of the current wild and fantastical conspiracies associated with the virus and more importantly, vaccination.  They've left me completely flabbergasted and provided another reminder of how gullible too many Americans are.  In all fairness, much of the medical mumbo jumbo is likely over the heads of those who believe it.  The whole mRNA thing is beyond my own span of attention.  However, we can still use the tools we all have at our disposal to ferret out bullshit, a suspicious and critical mind.  My regular readers know that I rarely take questionable assertions at face value and tend to fact check on my own.  For example, one of the fringe outlets claimed that 'CDC data released on July 9th' shows a massive spike in deaths from vaccines.  Before I called bullshit, I went to the CDC's website to confirm.  Because they're a government entity, they put everything they release on their website.  I think we both know what I found; or didn't find.  Now, I'm calling bullshit.  Something I did find was a direct correlation between vaccination rates and Covid deaths.  No surprise the states with higher vaccination rates have fewer cases and deaths.  

Another way to utilize your critical mind is to ask the questions 'to what end?' and 'Who profits from this and how?'  These questions, and most of this entry, are universal with respect to conspiracy theories in general, but we'll stick with the one at hand.  Who would benefit from the successful outcome of the supposed conspiracy and why?  Clearly, the pharma companies would receive the greatest benefit by reaping huge profits from government contracts to develop and manufacture the vaccines on an emergency basis.  PPE manufacturers also benefitted from a massive spike in demand.  Hell, I received some nice upside orders from 3M earlier in the pandemic.  Maybe I'm in on the conspiracy.  Shit, I've said too much.

What stands out to me is the massive number of 'auxiliary players' required to be complicit in the scheme, but who wouldn't profit.  What's in it for them to participate or at least keep their mouths shut?  It's not as though the profits pharma took in would be sufficient to buy everyone's silence.  Let's look at one of the most important groups of auxiliary players, the media.

Why is it that these conspiracy theories are always 'broken' by fringe media outlets, or bloggers, or some guy in the produce aisle?  They're never ever covered by legitimate news outlets.  The media's in on it!  Sorry to burst your bubble, but logic says otherwise.  For those who've forgotten, all of these outlets (CNN, NYT, Fox News) are for profit companies.  What generates the most revenue for a news outlet?  Certainly not suppressing what would be sensational developments.  Such reporting would generate massive ratings / readership, which would make them more money than an entity paying them hush money.  Because not only would they get a short term bump, but the ratings and higher ad placement prices would carry on for some time.  The media, all the media, would fight tooth and nail to break such a story and cover it non-stop for as long as that gravy train lasted.  

On the flip side, what do the conspiracy theorists get in return for their activities?  Attention, money, and (misplaced) credibility that they wouldn't have received were they going about their lives.  Who wouldn't throw out a ton of bullshit for that payout?  Seems the conspiracy freaks might have greater motivation than those allegedly complicit in the conspiracy they're trying to sell.   

Touching on the politically motivated, it would be quite the fantasy world to get D's and R's to agree to this sort of thing (or anything else, for that matter).  Make no mistake, they'd all have to be complicit.   Not happening.  The wretched right seems hell bent on their constituents dying from Covid by keeping them from getting vaccinated, even though they've all be vaccinated themselves.  There's some serious motivation for them to be driving the shit out of these conspiracies, if there were even the tiniest fragment of truth to them.  But you're not hearing a peep from even the more euthanasia worthy lawmakers, like MTG or Louis Gohmert.  I'll let you draw your own conclusion, but perhaps it's because such conspiracy theories are too obviously bullshit for even these dipshits to give oxygen to.  

The bottom line is that massive 'evil' conspiracies can't exist in secret, period.  Somebody always fucks up.  There will always be someone who loses the the fortitude to remain evil and caves.  Or, someone inadvertently shares too much with that underage hooker in Dallas.  This almost always happens when one party is involved.  Dozens of parties all gettin' down on the evil?  Hah!  Again, pure fantasy.  It becomes more of a farce, when you consider governments are involved.  Nothing stays secret in governments.  Throw in language barriers and differing agendas of the various supposedly involved countries and leaks will occur.  Every damned time.

Ultimately, there's no way the conspiracy at hand could be true.  It would have been leaked by someone and amplified through every level of media, by those with the incentive to do so, of which there are many.  

Vaccination should be mandatory.  Those who believe this is a draconian and distasteful measure are idiots.  Your kids have to be vaccinated against various things to attend school, so you've already complied with mandatory vaccinations and given proof to the school system.  Oops, didn't think of that, did you?  You're not a fucking virologist, so don't pretend to know what is and isn't true on the internet about the virus, particularly when crosschecking facts blows the damned thing up prima facia.  You don't have feathers, so stop parroting everything you read that you fall for.  Do the right thing for yourself and your family, for a change.  Take off the tin foil hat, say goodbye to Q once and for all, and get your fucking family vaccinated.  

Also, stop with the idiotic memes comparing mandatory vaccinations with the Holocaust or any other Nazi symbolism.  Comparing vaccination with genocide is offensive, because there is no fucking comparison, you moronic snowflake.  While I'm typically fine allowing morons to identify themselves in grand fashion, there are too many soft minds in this country who may believe the bullshit.  Largely in the same way there are those who believe the election was stolen from the Cheeto faced shit gibbon; but I already covered that one.  

Now, really get off my lawn.

Dog Shit and Drag Queens

It's been quite the week, filled with all sorts of things impacting my dull life.  I didn't feel as though any of these topics deserved their own entry, so here's the omnibus update.  Buckle up, buttercup.

The job interviewing process has become manic, with what should have been five interviews this past week (I feel like one of the popular girls!).  Most companies aren't bothering with phone interviews anymore, preferring to go right to video calls for first and second rounds.  I've worn the same dress shirt for at least four interviews, at this point.  I'm only wearing it for an hour at a time, so it's not as though it gets dirty or wrinkled.  It goes without saying I also wear shorts for these interviews.  

I'd be lying if I said I miss in person interviews.  For those who've never been on one in another city, it's not much fun.  Get up at O Dark Thirty, rush to the airport, pray flights are on time, arrive at destination, rent car, head to interview, try to push the stress and fatigue out of your system and appear vibrant and on the ball for an hour.  Rush to catch your return flight, land at midnight.  Try to remember what you said on your interview.  My favorite one of these was when I flew to Chicago in front of a heavy snow storm.  Flights were being cancelled all over the place.  I wound up flying into Baltimore, staying the night, then driving to Richmond in the storm.  

Next up is something that if it was a dessert, would be called Masochist's Delight.

Changing the furnace filter required a trip down a hallway I never visit and during that exercise, I discovered that my dog does have some separation anxiety, illustrated by the half dozen piles of what had began as loose dog shit.  By the time I discovered the little brown piles of joy, they were becoming fossilized and approaching diamond hardness.  I'll spare you the details of the required cleanup effort, but it probably goes without saying a good time was not had by all.  

My clothes washer decided to demonstrate its ability to sustain water flow and flooded my laundry room.  It demonstrated its displeasure with my ceasing that activity by not working since.  I'm fairly sure it's the water pressure / level sensor and have a replacement arriving next week.  In the meantime, I'm reprising my college student role, by taking laundry to my parents.

The battery on the Caddy SUV I appropriated from my parents has passed into the great lead acid beyond and from what I've read on the internet, there's a fifty fifty chance a trip to the dealer will be required for a memory re-flash.  Yet another reason I'll never buy American again.

On the positive side, I quit smoking a week ago and haven't killed anyone (yet).  Yes, I'm an intelligent individual and yes, I know it's bad for me, but it was one of the few things that gave me a modicum of pleasure.  Ultimately, I had to face the fact that I wasn't thirty anymore and couldn't grab a smoke, then jump into a vigorous workout.  It was finally catching up to me and I found myself lacking energy and occasionally becoming winded when I shouldn't have.  Since quitting, my workouts have been infinitely more productive and I'm quickly losing the weight I gained during the parental Florida incident.  Stress, ice cream, and no place to work out will pack on the pounds.  

I'll finish with something scandalous.  Tomorrow, I'm going to Sephora and buying makeup for myself.  No, I'm not joining a drag queen show, even though I have the time.  For the aforementioned video interviews, I've set the stage quite well, I think.  I've got the right stuff in the background and an inexpensive set of photo studio lights to help minimize the effects of aging.  Unfortunately, I have a very fair complexion and the lights wash me out and make me look like a member of the undead.  I'd read that a large number of men were using makeup to optimize their appearance on video conferences and it seems I'll be one of them.  

What do you think?  Vanity, craziness, or solid marketing?

Staying in KC - The Best Option?

We'll wait a minute or so for my regular readers to pick themselves up off the ground after reading the title...

As I await what I hope will be a solid job offer to arrive this week, I decided to be proactive and explore living options.  I checked out both the shit PA city, where my new office would be located (I grew up there, so I know it's shit) and home (Richmond, VA).  Because I would want to relocate to Richmond, regardless, I would only lease a house in PA.  Richmond could be a lease or potentially a purchase out of the gate.  Long story short, the housing situation is fucked, which I somewhat expected, considering the boom that's going on at the moment.  

Because of said boom, I've ruled out buying a home in either location.  It would piss me off to spend a bunch of money on a house, only to see it lose 15% of its value, once things even out again.  Besides, the only things on the market are overpriced new construction.  On the rental side of things, there are literally no options that meet my criteria at any price within 45 minutes of my potential new office, in PA.  At 46 minutes out, there's a 5,500+ sq ft house for rent at $3,250.  Both are a bit above my threshold.  Hell, I'd get lost in that place!

Richmond is slightly better, in terms of rental options, but not great.  There are slightly better purchase options, but damn, if those prices haven't jumped since I last went house shopping in the area.

Much as it kills me to say, I think it's in my best interest to stay put in KC, where I've got a reasonable lease, and ride things out.  This might make for a difficult conversation with my new employer, but unless they want to offer me an even beefier signing bonus, they can't force me to move somewhere there ain't a place to move into.  Don't get me wrong, I'll still hate this flat hell hole, but I'll at least have a solid exit strategy.

Scientists and Dating Sites

Because my life doesn't contain sufficient trauma, I continue the on again, off again, dating thing, although to a lesser extent, knowing I'll be moving in the near future.  In any case, I've discovered another trend I think is worth reporting on.  I've only encountered this one on Plenty of Fish and it's a head scratcher.  Over the course of the past few weeks, I've noticed a number of women listing their occupation as cosmologist.  For those who may not be clear on what a cosmologist does (I was a bit vague, myself), they're scientists that study the universe; how it formed, how it's changed, and what exists within it.  What's odd is none of them have advanced degrees and all have pictures with their faces with impeccable makeup.

Yep, there are a bunch of women cosmetologists who can't even spell what they do for a living.