Under the heading of shit I've only encountered in Kansas...
Long story short, I had made contact with a woman who, after a year of being celibate, wanted to get laid on NYE. We agreed to meet beforehand, in order we weren't stuck with someone we didn't like the day of.
So she arrived Christmas evening and the sex was halfway decent. A Christmas miracle! She appeared to be dateworthy, so she stayed and additional quality sex was had. Her selfish tendencies came to light during that sex, however. Before we met, I made a point of sharing how a previous partner's selfishness in the bedroom doomed our relationship to a platonic one. I very clearly explained what that hot button was for me. During the time we were together, she pounded the shit out of that button over and over. Not a good start.
One of the two nights I was getting ready for bed, when she asked if the phone charger next to the bed was mine. As if it could belong to someone else? I responded that it was. Except she decided it was hers, because when I came into the bedroom, her phone was plugged into it, .
While she was here, most of the conversation was her relating drama about her family, the divorce process, and a few other topics. She was frequently in tears talking about it. While I'm not unsympathetic, I'll admit that got a bit old.
The thing that wouldn't leave finally departed late Friday morning because she needed to attend a funeral. She said she'd text me as soon as she knew whether she could come over or if things had gone long. When I didn't receive a text by 6:30 p.m., I decided she was on her own for dinner. When one hadn't arrived at 7:30 p.m., I'd pretty much decided that, sans another death or severe bodily trauma, she was getting the heave ho. At 7:50 p.m., a text finally arrived, saying she was tired and would text me in the morning. Yeah, thanks for letting me know early enough so that I could adjust my plans... In my potentially fantasy world, when you say you're going to text someone with plans, you text someone with plans, whether they're your friend or some dipshit you work with.
At 12:50 Saturday morning, I was awoken by knocking on my door. It was followed by door bell ringing. That pattern alternated without pause. Knock knock knock knock, ring ring ring... It was fucking constant. At that point, I didn't know who was at my door, and willing them to shut the fuck up wasn't working. So, as one does when there's a lunatic at their front door, I grabbed something in a large caliber and went downstairs to investigate. You already know it was her. Well, I went off on her in the semi-coherent manner one does when one is awoken from a deep sleep. However, the message that she needed to stay the fuck away from me was crystal clear.
Fortunately, all indications are she did listen to that bit of direction.
In summary, holy fuck, I've never encountered anyone so self-centered and ultimately bereft of courtesy toward others. Such a shame, because the sex was about the best I've had in the flatlands.
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